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Old 07-14-2011, 10:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi there. Thought I'd point out that nowhere in your post do you say that getting together with this guy is something you're really excited about. So, my question is: do you want to? Like really want to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dani11 View Post
Recently I found out his best friend wants to have a sexual relationship with me . . .

I am not totally against the idea . . .
See, being "not totally against" it and then listing all the reasons why you are hesitant, just doesn't seem like a whole lot of enthusiasm to me.

Furthermore, you also state that since you opened your marriage quite a number of years ago, you "never had any sexual or emotional relationships," so I wonder if your first should be with someone you're not all that thrilled about hooking up with. Sure, he might be a good, close friend, and hubby likes the idea probably for voyeuristic reasons, but do you really think it would be worth it for someone with whom having sex is something you're "not totally against?" Even if it would simply be recreational sex and okay with you, why not wait until there's an opportunity to be with someone with whom the prospect of such a liaison really knocks your socks off? Why settle for lukewarm when you can have hot?
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 07-14-2011 at 11:34 PM.
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approaching someone, open marriage

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