Redpepper's journey - Page 105

MonoVCPHG · #**1041** 07-12-2011, 03:05 PM

I think me and PN are all good Love

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper

It becomes obvious to me sometimes that PN is not where I am or Mono is about the arrangement we have. He sees him as a tenant I think sometimes.

I also see myself as a tenant. There is no negativity in that. I like that feeling because it keeps my individuality and independence. That is why he and I like separate laundry, kitchens and living spaces.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper

I thought he saw him as a roommate who happens to be a metamour, but no, I think he is waaaaay behind on getting with the program that Mono and I are on. I forget that he doesn't ever go downstairs to see Mono or hang out, I do.

There is nothing new with this Lilo. In general I don't hang out with anyone besides when I ride. Normally you are the only person I have into my place. Even in my last two places you were the only visitor. I'm uber private with my home time...I'm wierd I know

I like getting the bulk of my socializing at work or at pub nights and camping. PN is again very similar to me in that sense. We do friendships much differently than you. It's not a bad thing, just different. I see PN more than any other person besides you. We get plenty of face time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper

It makes me nervous. It makes me nervous that the two of them would not be friends if I was not in the picture.

[/QUOTE]

This is an interesting point. PN and I are bonded in a very interesting way. That bond won't go away but that does not mean we would be hanging out together all the time. We would likely do our friendship the same way that we do friendships with everybody else. We're very different people in our passions and our social circle. He'd be saving the world and finding internal peace and I would be riding around, sitting in coffee shops watching people, and hangin out for the occasional backyard party.
The big difference is LB. He's a part of my life as I am a part of his. Our bond would bring us together more often. We would always be connected through this journey, Lilo.

There is no doubt that you are the glue in this relationship and family structure. A "V" without a point is not joined. LB would be that point to some degree I think. But I think everyone is good Sunshine.

Please try not to dwell on "what ifs". Just let our love and lives move along this path. We've been doing pretty good so far

Carma · #**1042** 07-12-2011, 07:00 PM

Thanks for sharing this, RP.

Sometimes I worry about the relationship between my men, too. I have this ideal in my mind of "friendship" but I can't presume to know how two men work through their issues, especially when they are sharing one woman and it is so against the grain, so contrary to the conventional way men are used to relating to each other.

Butch and Sundance have a beer together about once a month, and to them, that's being best friends! They are both pretty much loners by nature. When they get together, I get all giddy inside! It confirms my trust in both of them and validates the mutual respect between all 3 of us. I also think it's cute that they share a muse (me

) and it bonds them in a very unique way. It also makes me feel very cherished. Naturally, I wish they got together more often! But, I must remember, they are cowboys.

Thanks again for everything you share and how you bare your soul. The community of this forum has so much to gain from your generosity in truth and love.

P.S. thanks to you, too, Mono

nycindie · #**1043** 07-12-2011, 09:20 PM

Sounds like you are all on the path together, each person making their way as they choose, and every now and then someone has to kick a pebble out of their shoe. It's all good.

MonoVCPHG · #**1044** 07-12-2011, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie

Sounds like you are all on the path together, each person making their way as they choose, and every now and then someone has to kick a pebble out of their shoe. It's all good.

redpepper · #**1045** 07-12-2011, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie

kick a pebble out of their shoe.

I love that! I will try and remember to think this way. Thanks.

Thanks everyone. Today is a better day

redpepper · #**1046** 07-14-2011, 06:05 AM

kicked another pebble today.

PN expressed to me his concern about my not understanding how he feels loved by me. I need to give him lots of touch and I don't always have it in me after a day of being mauled by my clients. It brought up a whole slew of issues around sex and where we are at with out sex life, not to mention where we are at in general with our marriage...

It ended on a good note and we both have some ideas/reminders about how I can be approached for affection and how I need to approach him more... that we are growing and changing into who knows what and that we still love and want to be with each other. We both agreed that we have no idea where we are going but are happy that we are both happy and living lives we enjoy... that is the main thing. The rest is not worth over thinking on.

Its been a talk that has been a long time coming and I feel close to PN tonight.

Magdlyn · #**1047** 07-14-2011, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper

PN expressed to me his concern about my not understanding how he feels loved by me. I need to give him lots of touch and I don't always have it in me after a day of being mauled by my clients...

Excuse my flippancy, but, "mauled by Mono" as well?