Restless Heart snydrome:cause or effect?

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

. . . all kinds of stuff that the other partner is supposed to suck up and deal with . . .

People do the most wretched things in the name of "love".

But a thread about it - that would be too pessimistic, wouldn't it?

I think it would be great to get that stuff out in the open.

[SourGirl]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

There should be a thread about the darker side of poly because i agree that there is a panacea attitude that poly just means more love and how can you go wrong with more love? While there is all kinds of stuff that the other partner is supposed to suck up and deal with (even if they are also poly-minded) because it's all about more love so how could that be a bad thing.

People do the most wretched things in the name of "love".

But a thread about it - that would be too pessimistic, wouldn't it?

You read my mind again lady. Be very careful. There isn`t a whole lot of material up there, you might run out of things to read. :P

If anyone wants to TRULY roll up their sleeves, and get real about the effects and consequences of their actions, then yes, a darker-side of poly will enable the board to be much more objective. Like any other thread, if people don`t like it, they dont have to respond to it.

Or, we can all carry on like normal. With convos manipulating monos into our thinking, and talking about how everyone is actually REALLY poly cause bonobo monkeys do it on the discovery channel, and take all our cues, from stories after the shit hits the fan.

[NeonKaos]

I just want everyone to know that i was referring to OTHER people, not anyone here of course, and certainly not myself because i am perfect and do not make mistakes. I just can't prove it because how does one "prove" something doesn't exist? It's not as easy as proving something DOES exist. Like god, for example. Prove god DOESN'T exist. That's right - you can't, can you!

[River]

Originally Posted by nycindie

I think it would be great to get that stuff out in the open.

Shit yeah! Bring it on!

[Carma]

I love the success stories but I'm not a polyanna, either (haha on the poly pun) It's hard to hear the bitter side of it, but pretending it doesn't exist is not exactly realistic, is it?

It is easy to see from D's original post how poly can be interpreted by a mono partner. It helps to make me more sensitive to my husband's feelings.

I only have a minute to post but one thing I did want to comment on was the whole, "It's not you, it's me" concept. Although you got the impression (and I guess the explicit message???) that is was YOU. Nonetheless, I think it's always some sort of mixture, is it not? Be the best you that you can be -- what else can you do?

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

. . . i am perfect and do not make mistakes.

I knew that!

[River]

Originally Posted by nycindie

I knew that!

Me too. She's, like, totally phat!

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by dingedheart

RP

Ditto see above..... also Carma's comments

Her biggest Offense ....really ....that's a very enlightened arm chair view.
I'm really surprised you want to weigh in like this ...knowing what you know.

Isn't your whole relationship with mono more or less predicated on the RHS (Restless Heart Syndrome).... "at some point we know this will end" ????

The concept of serial cheater using poly for cover has been discussed to death ....so why is what I said so untrue or inaccurate.

sorry, I don't really get what you are saying here. You are asking me questions, but I don't really get what the hell you are talking about. lol. As to my life? That has nothing to do with yours.... soooooo, why bring it up. *confused*

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

There should be a thread about the darker side of poly because i agree that there is a panacea attitude that poly just means more love and how can you go wrong with more love? While there is all kinds of stuff that the other partner is supposed to suck up and deal with (even if they are also poly-minded) because it's all about more love so how could that be a bad thing.

I hear what you're saying, Neon, but "sucking it up" is the exact opposite of what is recommended. Being open and honest is the opposite of sucking things up.

People do the most wretched things in the name of "love".

But a thread about it - that would be too pessimistic, wouldn't it?

This might be that thread. God knows my first foray into poly with my ex was rather a disaster, leading to me going on Zoloft for a year, and therapy for 3 years. But 10 years later, it's going fine (more or less), with a different primary and address!

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by redpepper

sorry, I don't really get what you are saying here. You are asking me questions, but I don't really get what the hell you are talking about. lol. As to my life? That has nothing to do with yours.... soooooo, why bring it up. *confused*

Dinged has done that to me and Cindie as well (made assumptions about our marriages/relationships). I guess he is looking for parallels to give him some sort of template to go on.