Broken trust, opportunity, or both?

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by YGirl

That has been tried and it didn't work out.

But since it is mentioned above, I would like to point out that Mono said it wasn't a TYPICAL polyamorous relationship. While I have been arguing that terminology is a GOOD thing, the rest of you have been arguing "Do we have the right to tell the OP that his relationship "is" or "is not" poly". That stemmed from Mono's response in search of clarification. If you READ Mono's POST, the word "typical" qualifies that statement.

Mono says it's not a TYPICAL poly relationship. He did not say "You DO NOT HAVE a poly relationship." That's when the OP got all "Maybe I'm not on YOUR LEVEL, snark snark," and started with the Wiki definitions. Then he says he's not the one who started discussing terminology. Of course this is his thread, so he can throw out anything for discussion, but if someone else chooses to run with it, it's somehow not acceptable?

I swear, sometimes people don't realize that what was written by others is STILL UP THERE for reference.

But prior to this post he already apologized for the miscommunication-so why drag it out?

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by Ceoli

The flaw is not in the term itself. It's in trying to apply a very broad umbrella term to define very specific relationship structures. The problem is in using the term to make assumptions. Which is why people shouldn't take such stock in calling or judging someone else's relationship as poly or not or even saying that their relationship is a "typical poly relationship" (which can fairly be interpreted as a judgement even if the intention wasn't to judge). Simply because two different kinds of relationships are being described under the same broad umbrella term, that doesn't automatically mean they should be compared to each other.

It's like saying a person who's married is more monogamous than a person who's dating. And then the married person taking offense or being hurt that the dating person is also describing their relationship as monogamous. And then a bunch of people jumping down that dating person's throat for bringing up that definitions can be broad. At least that's how I see it.

Funny you should say that-I was thinking it as I read the posts, on another board I've frequented for years this comes up every few months in exactly that way and it really does leave me rolling my eyes.


Mono-your relationship is poly-just not the same as some other poly people. Just like I am married-even though I have a boyfriend too. My sister is married even though she is monogomous as is her husband.

It's all good-we just have to all take a breath and use the chance to learn about someone else's experience, ideas, life-instead of worrying that an unknow stranger online and their different ideas might be a threat to ourselves.

[MonoVCPHG]

[QUOTE=LovingRadiance;8991]eyes.


Mono-your relationship is poly-just not the same as some other poly people. QUOTE]

I'm black and white. One night stands are not poly. There's no give in this for me. But I again digress..it's just a word.

[Ceoli]

[QUOTE=MonoVCPHG;8993]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

eyes.


Mono-your relationship is poly-just not the same as some other poly people. QUOTE]

I'm black and white. One night stands are not poly. There's no give in this for me. But I again digress..it's just a word.

Just to put this in perspective (not to attack you) there are a lot of monogamous people with their black and white definitions out there who would also say you're not monogamous in your current relationship structure.

This is where it's great to add the qualifier, "for myself" when using such definitions.

[MonoVCPHG]

[QUOTE=Ceoli;8995]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

Just to put this in perspective (not to attack you) there are a lot of monogamous people with their black and white definitions out there who would also say you're not monogamous in your current relationship structure.

This is where it's great to add the qualifier, "for myself" when using such definitions.

Fair enough...One night stands are not poly...for myself...you win.

[LovingRadiance]

Mono-they aren't to me either. BUT love to me and love to Maca have different definitions. Heck we have different definitions of good/bad, right/wrong, friendship, forever-all sorts of things.
In real life I tend to be pretty anal retentive about definitions-but what do I care if all of you disagree with me? I have enough to contend with in real life you know?

Really Mono-you remind me so much of C that I imagine in real life we would agree very much on many points-but for the purpose of the board I let myself go with my innate natural enjoyment of debating many options/possibilities. I find that helps me to more concretely decide what I do/don't believe-because I get a more full idea of each topic......

[LovingRadiance]

I think I love all of you guys!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

sorry-but it's so entertaining to read through all the different thoughts and ideas and perspectives!

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

I find that helps me to more concretely decide what I do/don't believe-because I get a more full idea of each topic......

This is very true!

And as a side note I'd like to congradulate esedkudiln on creating one of the most active threads in along time!!

wow!

[LovingRadiance]

no kidding mono-he got everyone's mind working today and personally I like a good mind! Much more intoxicating than dumb ones....

[redpepper]

I love you too lovingradiance! *hugs* and all of you actually. I needed support and you give it to me. I'm very grateful. I need my opinions pushed and you all do that. I'm grateful for that too.