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  #51  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
We'll have to warn the coffee shop then.....
Can I come too?!
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  #52  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:41 PM
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Can I come too?!

Only if RP brings you on a leash.
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  #53  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:51 PM
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I agree with everyone here. I really can't argue with any of it. There is validity in all sides.

I must say though that if poly specifically is defined as having one night stands then I will bow out of any posts along that line. I take refuge in my definition as I find it respectable enough to tell my parents about. To me its a bastardization and an insult to say that poly is specifically about one night stands. I will be sure in the future to let my old aunties know that I am NOT identifying with that definition and prefer the definition that includes less of the sexual aspect and more of love, commitment and communication between those involved. I haven't done all this work to see it any other way.Please don't think that I know nothing about one nights stands, swinging or the like, I have had my fair share in my day. For me its just completely different but can be where poly gets its start. It was certainly MY start.

Thanks for the heads up on this as I am sure my family has or will be goggleing poly and I can now nip in the bud the thought that they think I'm having one night stands.

I hope the OP has gained something from the comments that were given in regards to his original concerns and realizes that we are all here to learn from one another and ourselves. Thanks for that opportunity and for the debate!
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  #54  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:56 PM
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Done ygirl! He's super well trained.
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  #55  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:57 PM
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Only if RP brings you on a leash.
Wouldn't be the first time I was on a leash I'm owned..and I absolutely love it!
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  #56  
Old 10-14-2009, 08:08 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Wouldn't be the first time I was on a leash I'm owned..and I absolutely love it!

You do realize I'm just using you to get near RP, don't you?
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  #57  
Old 10-14-2009, 08:14 PM
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You do realize I'm just using you to get near RP, don't you?

As do most people Women are OK though, remember
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  #58  
Old 10-14-2009, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by esedkudiln View Post
Such a warm welcome, and such empathy. I seem to have intruded into a community that is less open than I had hoped, or than it claims to be. Or maybe it's just certain individuals.

I'm happy to play by the rules of this community, but does that include adopting one single interpretation of the scriptures - unquestioningly, without dissent or doubt? Surely not.

I seem to have upset you. Could you explain why?
You haven't upset me. But I think part of the problem is that the people who have been struggling for lengthy periods of time to be accepted as being in multiple DEEP LOVING relationships often get told that all they really care about is fucking around. So they get defensive-because that isn't true.

It's not so much a right or wrong for you issue- as it is a need for them to fight to be understood.

I see it similar to a gay person who gets offended by someone saying they are bi-because they feel like it is "graying" the definition of who THEY are.

Really it isn't-but in the eyes of the ignorant majority whom we are all battling against for our freedom to be ourselves-it is.

Does that help you understand the defensive posturing at all?
Of couse that's my opinion-as someone who isn't feeling defensive-so I could be completely off base.

Even I find it's hard to prove to people that what you want is the right to love more than one person deeply-when other people suggest that what they want is to sleep around freely-then people assume I also "JUST" want to sleep around freely-when in fact only want the right to love and be in love with Maca and C, with sex sometimes and sometimes not.
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  #59  
Old 10-14-2009, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by esedkudiln View Post

Can I, respectfully, suggest that you chill for a minute? Whatever upset you, I can assure you it wasn't intentional.

Perhaps I should have ignored the first response I received to my post, which, to me, seemed to question whether I had any "right" to be here, because my fiancee and I aren't "truly" poly. I didn't bring up this issue, but if it's widely felt in this community that the kind of situations I find myself in shouldn't be discussed here, then a simple nudge from the moderators should suffice. Let's not turn this into a mudslinging competition.
I think you missed a key point-the first response was from Mono-who is RedPeppers... um not sure the term, anyway one of the men she's deeply in love with. This response from you is to RedPepper.

If you read through the threads-you will see that their "union" has been under a VICIOUSLY painful attack for a few weeks now by a very near and dear loved one.
So obviously they will both be defensive of one another if for any reason they feel that either is being attacked (human nature).
So while you didn't realize that when you posted-I think maybe part of the issue might be that you didn't take time to read through posts and "get a feel" for who was who, how they are related to one another and what is going on currently with them.

That isn't an uncommon problem in life-we all do it at some point or another. If it happens to be when things are going great for the people in question-no harm, no foul.
But when their lives are in caos already and they are already hurt, defensive and in self-protection mode, well then we tend to get bit.

just like a dog that's been hurt-in trying to help it often you will get bit.

I appreciate your taking time to apologize for being taken wrong. I think that maybe with a little time and patience you will find that in fact the people who replied to you are very kind, considerate people. You just managed to find the exactly wrong button at the exactly wrong time.
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  #60  
Old 10-14-2009, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
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Poly is just a word, not a religion.
Ceoli-some days you just say all my thoughts perfectly. I would have left your whole quote-but to save space just kept the last line. I agree.

Back to the OP-
I do think it was simply a time/place/circumstance issue though. No need for war to commence, peace on all sides seems reasonably feasible to me.
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