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Old 05-10-2009, 03:32 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
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Default After Lack

I'd like to discuss a transformational process which I am engaging in, which I think is powerful and good. I didn't learn this process from any one person, book, teacher or guru.... It just started to unfold at some point and I decided to trust and follow it where it would take me. The essence of the process is the dropping of what I will here call "the lack perspective". To "drop" the lack perspective, one must only (a) acknowledge and observe the lack perspective as it operates in one's life and psyche, and (b) decide that the happiness which evolves and grows in one's life with the dropping of the lack perspective is welcome.

This process, for me, is very much framed within an inquiry centering on relationship/s--whether monoamorous or polyamorous, or whether with one's self or with the breeze blowing on one's skin on a sunny spring day.

How I practice: I watch myself in mindfulness. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness ... and I catch myself in the act of playing out what we may call a "lack drama" or telling myself a "lack story". A lack drama is an emotional reaction to a lack story. A lack story goes like... "There isn't enough __________". (Happiness, love, joy, peace, freedom...etc.)

Say I'm out walking in the sunshine..., and I don't bother to attend to the delicious feeling of the sunlight on my skin, the breeze on my skin, the simple joy of just being alive....? All the while, I'm think-feeling "not good enough". "I'd rather be somewhere else." The result? I cannot be happy, have joy, peace, etc..., because I'm not allowing it. I'm not being present to what I want!

I can then intervene, if I catch myself at this silly making-myself-unhappy game. I can pay attention to the inverse of the lack perspective. It can be a very simple act, like enjoying (to the extent possible at that moment) the pleasurable sensations already present but not attended to. E.g., warm sunlight kissing my skin, light breeze.... Even breathing is pleasurable and openning, healing, when attended to.

This really is about having happier relationships!, mono- or poly-. The root premise being that if one isn't already happy one cannot share happiness with others -- and will probably enact lack dramas in their relationships, rather than sharing the expansive joy of love.

I can't possibly touch upon or summarize what I've been learning on these matters in one post. But I am available for questions!

I'm not a guru of this stuff, by the way, only a beginning student with the joyful humility that comes with having found an entry point for transformational healing of the heart ... and of the world.
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