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Old 06-27-2011, 10:41 AM
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stargazer23 stargazer23 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: South of the Mason-Dixon
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Default Misperceptions of others/how to be candid w/o turning ppl off?

This weekend, I spent time at a party/electronic music event and had planned on meeting one of my interests there. We've been texting like crazy for weeks now and it was finally a good chance to talk in a little more one-on-one way over drinks in a casual setting

He showed up an hour or so after I did and we sat down together and started to talk over drinks. At one point we started kissing and things felt really really good.

Things were going well until I told point blank that I'm poly...and something in his face changed. The tone went instantly from being sort of intimate and sweet to him being sort of hyper. He suddenly turned UBER excitable and silly and jokey. Then he sort of...pulled from me. He got very social and distracted and sort of stopped paying attention to me in favor of other friends. I figured I'd just let him greet his friends and come back to him later so I drifted off for awhile.

When I found him again, I tried to break the ice by kissing him again but it was weird, felt dark. Not warm like before. He became sort of...rude. He made some innuendo-type jokes that made me feel a little demeaned. Then he flat out told me: "Don't worry about me, I'm undateable. But that's okay, you are too, right? I mean, that's what you are, you don't want to commit to anybody right?"

I tried to explain that he had it wrong, that's not what that means at all. Tried to explain, explain, explain... I asked him "Why are you acting like this all the sudden?"

He said "Like what? I act like this all the time. Don't worry about me, let's just be friends, okay?"

Ouch.

I'm doin it wrong.
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"Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

How can you claim to love someone with all your heart if you can't stand to let them love with all of theirs?
-me
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