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Old 10-13-2009, 08:26 PM
HoneyBee HoneyBee is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NW England, UK.
Posts: 8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity View Post
Man... listen to me go on. That's what you get for encouraging me. I hope this helps though. I honestly know how you feel, and this has worked for me. Maybe it can help you too.
Haha, keep it coming, seriously! I dunno how you got so good at playing counsellor, but what you say makes SO much sense. Ah, if Freud could see you now! :P

DP is out at football right now, but I will certainly take what you've said on board. I do think part of the problem is that I get to a certain point when I simply refuse to bring it up any more (either because I feel as though I'm nagging, or because I get angry that he doesn't WANT to talk about it like I do), and then the issue just festers under the surface and I get snappish with him for stupid things. I think I've got every right to do so, but at the same time, it doesn't help matters. I suppose that always being the one to broach the subject is annoying but not the end of the world, if it gets the job done.

In terms of how he reacts when I DO bring it up...well, he doesn't. There is no eye rolling, no tutting, and no sarcastic comments. All in all, there is nothing more expressive than a shrug and a silence, or maybe an, "I dunnoooo". I think that's what makes it so infuriating. At least if he argued with me, he'd have an opinion one way or the other. As it is, I feel like I'm in limbo. And I get terribly nervous approaching him about it in case it hurts him...because if it does, how am I suppose to know if he won't tell me?

I feel sometimes like our relationship could go down in flames right before his eyes, and though he'd be burning up inside, you wouldn't ever hear him scream.


But I say all this without having spoken to him again. I feel myself making excuses not to: "He's going to play football and I don't want to put a dampener on his evening"; "He's had a long day and he just wants to go to sleep"; "He's only going to brush it aside like last time and I'll get no answers"; "I'm asking too much of him; I'm being unfair"; etc. I need to bite the bullet, I suppose.

Give me courage!!

xox

*edit*
The book sounds like a fantastic idea (sorry, just caught your post!); I'll check how much money I've got and see if I can buy it
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