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  #311  
Old 06-23-2011, 07:26 PM
FreeTheMind FreeTheMind is offline
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Location: Atlanta GA
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Default Re: In over my Head

Freetime,

I am new to all of this also (as in the last 5 days). I came across this forum and your post and spent the last few days reading through your journey and progress over the last 90+ days. Many times reading your posts along with the very insightful, compassionate support and advice from the others on here such as RP, II, TP, etc., had tears streaming down my face.

My wife (who is also a T) is the one who brought up the possibility of Poly. To say the least it rocked my little world when I first started reading up on it. But stumbling upon your journey and reading what others had to say I was realizing that this is a journey about self, letting go and confronting our own fears and issues as we rewrite our boundries. It is really about enjoying life to the fullest with absolute love and joy, being happy and fulfilled. That is the reason my wife approached me about this. I'm realizing I need to be conscious of my life and that all things are possible. I've closed myself off for way to long. Reading your posts I literally felt like Rip Van Winkle waking up for the first time from a very long slumber. Many of your issues, fears and concerns really resonated with me and I'm sure others as they first ventured into Poly. I've read the 12 Pillars of Polyamory and really understand and embrace the idea of Authenticity, Honesty, Truth, Communication, etc. I've been feeling NRE just from reading as much as I can to understand this. Am I scared.....ABSOLUTELY! Am I excited about the possibilities of what our lives (my wife and mysef) can be......ABSOLUTELY! We have been married for 12 yrs and have been together for going on 16. We have no kids so there is really nothing holding us back from enjoying life to it's fullest except ourselves. (Probably more me than her.) I've put up a lot of barriers over the years and if feels good to start breaking them down.

I'm rambling at this point but do want to say that we are new at looking into this so we are going to go very slow. I'm really looking forward to a much deeper intimate connection with my wife and others in my life!

I did have a question though. Since you have gone to the Poly side and I have read your other thread, I was curious as to how are things going with your primary since you now have two GF's. I know she is everything to you and I know you are buzzing over the NRE but a quick update on how you and T are doing would be great!

I'm sure I will be posting much more as time progresses with many questions and or just fears/issues I will be encountering and I am looking forward to the feedback and advice.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and I appreciate any feedback as we start this journey.

FreeTheMind
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  #312  
Old 06-25-2011, 06:36 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
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Default

Be gentle with yourself as you go through the emotional turmoil. Remember you're creating one of the biggest changes a relationship can go through, the best thing I did was post here, so that others could help and guide me.

and be gentle with your wife.

If I could change just one thing, it would be the anger and fear I expressed towards her. the feelings were completely normal, taking them out on t was not. I'm ashamed of how I behaved with her.

Walk this journey with your head up and a smile on your face. You may be surprised with what happens.

Be well FYM, and welcome to the party. I'll save you a seat in the sunlight.

Freetime
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  #313  
Old 06-25-2011, 06:51 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
Posts: 163
Default How are T and I doing.....

....now that I have two GF? Great! T is amazing, and very loving not only of me but also of FHC and T2. Holding hands with my wife and my girlfriend at the same time is a mind bending experience, and one I recommend to any and all.

I've spent time with T & T2, and with T & FHC, but not yet with T2 and FHC or with all three together, not sure I'd live through the experience but I am looking forward to it. Life without risk is a life wasted.

I'm a simple man, simple needs wants desires. But everyday is a day that love, gentleness and forgiveness must be present if this is going to work.
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  #314  
Old 06-27-2011, 01:17 PM
FreeTheMind FreeTheMind is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Atlanta GA
Posts: 8
Default Thank you for your response FT!

Thank you so much for responding FreeTime.

I will remember and will be conscious to be gentle with myself and with my T.

I really connected with a lot of the same thoughts and feelings you have been going through and I continue to. This has not been easy for me but your words of walking this journey with my head held up and a smile on my face gives me confidence to do this!

We have only been discussing and reading about this but the emotional turmoil it has created in me has been profound. It has really made me take a look at myself and what I want! I guess one difference between you and I is that instead of my wife just wanting to be poly, I do too.

I will be posting on here as I have seen how the others have helped and continue to help guide you on your journey.

I will start a new thread so as not to hijack yours and as my wife and I move along this path I will be reaching out to everyone who has walked this journey before me.

Thank you and I will take you up on that seat you are saving me in the sunlight!

FTM
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