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Old 06-23-2011, 06:12 AM
funfunkyfantastic funfunkyfantastic is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Default So how exactly does this work with the military?

So here's our situation, husband is currently in the navy and I am wanting/in the process of joining the army. Husband plans to leave the navy and join the army at some point (possibly blue to green). I have a daughter from a previous marriage and the father is still in the picture so he's helping me raise her.

Anyhow, we're new to polyamory or at least he is. I've never myself gotten into it but was raised (from 17 up) in a polamorous family. We know the duel military thing is going to be hard already but we're trying to figure out how poly might fit into the equation. We know it's illegal (in the military anyway) to commit adultery, which is what they consider polyamory. Neither of us would want to jeopardize our careers, but yet we also want to explore polyamory.

What would be our ideal course of action? Should we quietly date people and try to hide this from the military somehow? And what exactly is suggested as a method of hiding this?

or

Should we eventually get divorced but stay together and just have a hand fasting ceremony so that we're not breaking any laws? The disadvantage here would be less pay. However I would still be getting BAH for my daughter.

How do other military families make this work? I mean, obviously people do make it work or there wouldn't be so many military people on here.

Another question is getting involved with other military members. Not only would we jeopardize our careers, but theirs as well. Thoughts?
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