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  #21  
Old 06-18-2011, 03:16 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty... I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well." --Theodore Roosevelt
I wouldn't be in relationships if I didn't have an understanding of that statement personally and had to live it personally since I was a child.. I have enjoyed every brutal stage of my life as much as the brilliant ones.
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  #22  
Old 06-21-2011, 12:25 PM
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About the whole pain and difficulty thing. In the past I would have agreed with you, now I tend to think that if it's too hard it isn't meant to be. Everything that has ever been really painful and difficult for me was either wrong for me or I was making it harder than it had to be.
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  #23  
Old 06-21-2011, 12:43 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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About the whole pain and difficulty thing. In the past I would have agreed with you, now I tend to think that if it's too hard it isn't meant to be. Everything that has ever been really painful and difficult for me was either wrong for me or I was making it harder than it had to be.
"Doctor, it hurts when I do this."

"Then don't do "this"."
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  #24  
Old 06-21-2011, 03:14 PM
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Poly is so simple -- love more than one. Why do we get so bent out of shape?
I think the primary cause of difficulty with love and relationships is insufficient self-love, which results in insufficient other-love, along with a great deal of fear of loss, frustration, hurt, anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.

It's obvious to me that the beginning of the chain is insufficient self-love. Most of us aren't much good at that. And that's where it all begins!
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  #25  
Old 06-21-2011, 03:24 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by River View Post
I think the primary cause of difficulty with love and relationships is insufficient self-love, which results in insufficient other-love, along with a great deal of fear of loss, frustration, hurt, anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.

It's obvious to me that the beginning of the chain is insufficient self-love. Most of us aren't much good at that. And that's where it all begins!
I am awesome at self loving ... haha.. ok I couldn't resist sorry.. ..

I would agree with your post for the record.
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  #26  
Old 06-21-2011, 03:27 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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now I tend to think that if it's too hard it isn't meant to be. .
I'm with you Sage. I even go farther I think. I don't believe life should be a struggle.
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  #27  
Old 06-21-2011, 03:46 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I'm with you Sage. I even go farther I think. I don't believe life should be a struggle.
What the? Life is fraught with difficulty and pain and lost connections.

I guess I am with Hemingway here. "Life isn't about getting what you want. Life is about doing what needs to be done joyfully and gracefully."

Also, from a commercial, "Life is dirty. Clean it up."
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  #28  
Old 06-21-2011, 03:59 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Captain Obvious told me to tell you's that the vast majority of life on THIS planet, both human and otherwise, have no choice as to whether or not life is a "struggle". In fact, I don't think the word "should" exists for most folks.

What planet do YOU live on?

Indeed, when I say things "should" be kept simple, at the beginning of this thread, what i meant was that there is ENOUGH struggle in life with things we don't really have a choice about, that it is silly to make it harder on ourselves by struggling with things we bring upon ourselves. We all have a CHOICE about whether or not to stay in bad relationships; why choose to?

It's funny, because on the secret FB group, someone just crawled up my butt with a "glass half empty" answer to something i said. as if pessimism is a NEGATIVE thing. I just love it when pathological optimists get irked by this sort of thing. it's so easy to do and so fun to watch.
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  #29  
Old 06-21-2011, 04:04 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I keep things simple..keeps me young and pretty damn happy. Just my philosophy I've had my share of struggle; most of it could have been avoided and would not have been missed.
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  #30  
Old 06-21-2011, 04:41 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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I think it depends on where you start, too. Some of us start with a lot of disadvantages in one way or another and it takes a bit o' work to get through them.

But in general, yes. Why make things harder than they are? We have to deal with the things that are out of our control, why beat ourselves over the head with the things that are?
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