That's the quickest I've ever seen anyone go from "How do I make this work?" to "yeah, I should get out" in this kind of situation. You're right, you're not an idiot.
As for feeling guilty about it, I understand. I've been manipulated with guilt many times, and it took a long time to break free of it. I still occasionally feel guilty about things I shouldn't. It's difficult. You shouldn't feel guilty about this, but telling you that doesn't help.
Which is worse: Ending this relationship, feeling guilty for a little bit, but eventually being happy you got out of it, or staying in the relationship and feeling miserable indefinitely? Either way you're going to feel bad, but you might as well make it temporary.
Also, I'm almost certain all the "my therapist said..." things were complete bullshit he made up to add credibility to his manipulation. There are bad therapists, but they're usually less obvious about it.