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  #11  
Old 06-18-2011, 10:42 AM
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Kommander Kommander is offline
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The simple answer? People are stupid. Without exception. And yes, I'm including myself in this. Everyone is stupid at one point or another. In my experience, the more intelligent someone is, the greater the stupidity that person is capable of.

People delude themselves into thinking they aren't stupid. One can strive to be less stupid, but breaking free from stupidity is impossible. It's a condition of being human.
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  #12  
Old 06-18-2011, 12:56 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xared View Post
The simple answer? People are stupid. Without exception. And yes, I'm including myself in this. Everyone is stupid at one point or another. In my experience, the more intelligent someone is, the greater the stupidity that person is capable of.

People delude themselves into thinking they aren't stupid. One can strive to be less stupid, but breaking free from stupidity is impossible. It's a condition of being human.

Humans ARE very stupid. We keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over and expect OTHERS to change because of OUR mistakes. I make mistakes all the time, but I try to make NEW mistakes, not the same stupid fucking ones again and again.
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  #13  
Old 06-18-2011, 02:36 PM
Ilove2men Ilove2men is offline
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nycindie, I think that was directed towards me.

It has nothing to do with keeping this simple really. It's my opinion on where complexities come about. I'm not the best at explaining myself sometimes. I'm taking an economics course and to me I see the same laws apply to different people coming together to find a happiest balance for all. Economics teach that this balance is everchanging.

I'm not speaking specifically about people coming on here thinking they are the only one who has been through a specific something in the previous paragragh. My opions on that is 1) it's fearbased. When it's something bad that's happened to them they are afraid they are alone in the world. 2) If it's something bad they have done then they say no ones been through it as an excuse of " you can't possibly fault my bad behavior because you've never been in my shoes or felt how I feel." This is not complex this is typical out of some. (not all)
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  #14  
Old 06-18-2011, 02:45 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Because emotion immediately adds a layer of complexity.

Poly on paper is as easy as a regular relationship. Once you throw in emotional responses logic for most people gets tossed out the window.

This idea of everyones relationship being unique.. In the end that's peoples need to want to feel like they are part of a group, but being left to justify any failures to it's uniqueness. It's a simple copout. Its better than blaming a tough relationship on the people involved.
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  #15  
Old 06-18-2011, 02:48 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xared View Post
The simple answer? People are stupid. Without exception. And yes, I'm including myself in this. Everyone is stupid at one point or another. In my experience, the more intelligent someone is, the greater the stupidity that person is capable of.

People delude themselves into thinking they aren't stupid. One can strive to be less stupid, but breaking free from stupidity is impossible. It's a condition of being human.
Nah, I don't except that. Emotional response trumps logic and intelligence.

I am intelligent, it's just unfortunate my heart tends to beat my brain up. Haha
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  #16  
Old 06-18-2011, 02:52 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Poly on paper is as easy as a regular relationship. Once you throw in emotional responses logic for most people gets tossed out the window.
All relationships, on paper, look to be easy. There will always be some conflict due to being humans with different understandings of expectations, and so forth, even among folks who have well-developed relationship skillz.

It's the instances of gross dysfunction that always puzzle me. A question that pops into my head on reading some of the scenarios is "Have you had *any* functional relationships in your life?"

Quote:
This idea of everyones relationship being unique.. In the end that's peoples need to want to feel like they are part of a group, but being left to justify any failures to it's uniqueness. It's a simple copout. Its better than blaming a tough relationship on the people involved.
Yup. It would be so much easier to have some reason other than a lack of compatibility (that could have been noticed much earlier) or having weak relationship skills. Saying "My Love Fu was not strong enough" is a humbling experience (he says from experience).
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #17  
Old 06-18-2011, 03:03 PM
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Kommander Kommander is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Nah, I don't except that. Emotional response trumps logic and intelligence.

I am intelligent, it's just unfortunate my heart tends to beat my brain up. Haha
I agree. However, emotions can be handled stupidly, or in ways that are less stupid. Doing whatever one's emotions demand without a second thought; pretty stupid. Trying to understand one's emotions and attempting to balance them with reason, less stupid.
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  #18  
Old 06-18-2011, 03:08 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
All relationships, on paper, look to be easy. There will always be some conflict due to being humans with different understandings of expectations, and so forth, even among folks who have well-developed relationship skillz.
That's true.

Quote:
It's the instances of gross dysfunction that always puzzle me. A question that pops into my head on reading some of the scenarios is "Have you had *any* functional relationships in your life?"
People who suck at relationships are still going to suck at poly ones. People sometimes expect poly to fix their poor relationship habits. Maybe some people event believe it is like the magic cure.

The "I have been a cheating lying serial monogamist, I must be poly" mentality usually just creates a "I am a lying cheat serial polyamorist" ... Unfortunately the root relationship problems are never fixed.

Disclaimer - that obviously doesn't apply to all cheaters.. I am just using an example
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  #19  
Old 06-18-2011, 03:09 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xared View Post
I agree. However, emotions can be handled stupidly, or in ways that are less stupid. Doing whatever one's emotions demand without a second thought; pretty stupid. Trying to understand one's emotions and attempting to balance them with reason, less stupid.
Easier said that done in some cases.
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  #20  
Old 06-18-2011, 03:13 PM
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Kommander Kommander is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Easier said that done in some cases.
"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty... I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well." --Theodore Roosevelt
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