Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #10  
Old 06-17-2011, 02:30 PM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 52
Default To Share or Not to Share?

My bf, his gf and I recently got together for a "family meeting". There were some issues we were all having and we wanted to sit down and talk them out, and hopefully come up with some solutions/clear the air.

It went really well, but there was a particular problem that came up and I wanted to find out if any of you have had similar problems and how you dealt with them.

My bf's gf is a very private person and new to polyamory. She said that it made her feel unsafe and insecure to have my bf and I discuss his sex life with her when we were alone together. She said it made her feel excluded and she wanted to keep their sex life private.

To me, being able to ask my bf about his sex practices with other partners is essential to my feelings of security and safety. Also, I enjoy hearing about new and exciting things he is doing sexually. I was triggered by the thought of not being able to find out what I need to feel secure, and had a lot of trouble communicating that to her.

In the end, we worked out an agreement that if they did anything new in bed, that either he would ask her permission before telling me, or that she would tell me herself. Also, I would work on asking her directly about what they were doing (which made me uncomfortable, but I promised I would try.

Have any of you had issues with full disclosure? How did you deal with that?
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
boundaries, comminication, communication, compassion, dadt, empathy, honesty, metamour, metamours, overshare, privacy, secrecy, sex talk, sharing information

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:50 AM.