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  #71  
Old 06-17-2011, 12:28 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Cool

I call them both partners.

As a unit, I say we're a family though occasionally have used the cute word "throuple".
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  #72  
Old 06-17-2011, 03:24 PM
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I use the word "friend." It's the best description I can come up with. In my personal philosophy, there's very little difference between what one usually thinks of as friendship and romance. To me, friendship is the strongest bond there is. Romance seems to me to be too often more about ideals and expectations, whereas friendship is real.

Two friends of mine, I'll call them Jeff and Krystal, started dating when they first met. They decided shortly after that that it wasn't working for them, and decided to be friends. 14 years later, they are best friends, and love each other a lot. They even have sex once in a while. In the time they've known each other, they've has many arguments. However, they always end up working things out. Had they continued to pursue a romantic relationship, they would have gone their separate ways long ago.

A few years ago, Jeff set Krystal and I on a blind date. It didn't work out because we both thought the other wasn't interested, but we did become friends. Recently, we both discovered that the other was polyamorous, and that we were, in fact, interested in each other. We're now talking about becoming "better friends," as I would phrase it. There's also plans of introducing her to another couple I'm involved with (assuming those two and I can work out some issues I started a thread in "New to Polyamory" about. Which, slow progress is being made.) Now that Krystal and I have known each other for a while, pursuing this kind of relationship now seems like it'll work out a lot better that it would if we forced it to happen when we first met.

Using the word "friend" is also adaptable to most situations, and prevents the possibility of accidentally revealing the situation to those that aren't in on it. For instance, my father knows about my "new friend," but not that she's my best friend's girlfriend. If he figures out that they're together, it's an ambiguous enough term that I can pretend nothing is going on. I'll tell him eventually, but not until I have to. However, I can also put emphasis on the word "friend" when in situations where I want to communicate that a given "friend" and I are "totally doin' it," as it were.
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  #73  
Old 06-17-2011, 03:59 PM
Idlovetwo Idlovetwo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
As a unit, I say we're a family though occasionally have used the cute word "throuple".
Hahahha LOL!! Throuple!!! That's fab

This thread is funny. Actually, I had the same "problem" when I was in a mono relationship. In my first marriage it was clearly "my husband", but my second partner was that, a partner, we were not married. Although, for some people I said "my husband" (because some people don't take it seriously if you say "partner" or "boyfriend"), then I started to dislike the word "husband" and ended up just saying his name and letting others figure out (it was nobody's business if we were married or not).

Now my poly relationship is pretty new and we haven't had much of that, but for the moment we all stick to introducing the other person by their name and let others figure out
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Last edited by Idlovetwo; 06-17-2011 at 04:01 PM.
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  #74  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:03 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xared View Post
I use the word "friend." It's the best description I can come up with. In my personal philosophy, there's very little difference between what one usually thinks of as friendship and romance. To me, friendship is the strongest bond there is. Romance seems to me to be too often more about ideals and expectations, whereas friendship is real.
Thats really interesting. I am always curious about peoples takes on friendship since mine is pretty fucked up... haha..

thanks
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  #75  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:24 PM
Idlovetwo Idlovetwo is offline
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That's why I don't like the word "friend with benefits"... Friendship without benefits is just friendship. Benefits without friendship is just sex. But if you have a real friendship with someone plus a sexual relationship, I don't see how that's not love. Unless the friendship is not such. My two cents anyway, maybe someone likes the word
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  #76  
Old 06-17-2011, 06:54 PM
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"Friend with benefits" is redundant. All friendships have benefits. Not necessarily sexual benefits, but there are benefits. We all know what it means, that's how euphemisms work.

Friendships in themselves are love. Friendships with sex are another kind of love. Sex, of course, is sex.
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  #77  
Old 06-18-2011, 06:45 AM
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If I do ever have a primary partner, I will call him my Main Squeeze.

I generally refer to the guys I'm involved with as my lovers or beaus. Right now I call Burnsy my Studmuffin.
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  #78  
Old 06-18-2011, 07:44 AM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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I say "this is my love" when making introductions.
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  #79  
Old 06-20-2011, 11:45 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is online now
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Right now I only have Seamus, who I talk about as my boyfriend or fiancÚ or husband, depending. Usually I say boyfriend, sometimes fiancÚ. Husband is rarer now that we're living apart.
With Raga I said husband, and sometimes I said "my guys" when referring to both of them.

Otherwise, boyfriend and partner are the common ones. Friend for a FWB. Usually I make sure to use their names so that I go by that afterwards.

EDIT: and usually "interest" for someone I'm interested in but not with.
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  #80  
Old 09-25-2013, 04:43 AM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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Question Why Use The Terms "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" instead of "lover"?

The question is in the title.~

This is some thing that has been bothering me for awhile ever since I learned how to speak, read, and write English growing up and English is my first language as a born & raised American.~

Why use these terms of "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" when referring to "lovers"?~

Let's break it down:

"girl" means a pre-pubescent Human female who has not yet reached sexual maturity and is not yet capable of producing offspring,

"boy" means a pre-pubescent Human male who has not yet reached sexual maturity and is not yet capable of producing offspring,

"friend" means close associate or "companion",

"lover" means "one who loves" who can be involved in a relationship of a romantic nature.~



Wouldn't it logically follow then that referring to one whom you love and are in a romantic relationship with as your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is both demeaning of their sexual maturity and their relationship to you?


In case you're wondering I was advised to make this into a separate thread instead of including it in Semantics / Language is Fluid topic also in the Fireplace forum section as this subject was deserving of a thread all its' own.~


I am quite perplexed by this conundrum and I highly desire to discuss the nature of such a concept.~



Please feel free to share your opinions.~

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-25-2013 at 05:25 AM.
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