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  #131  
Old 10-05-2009, 02:59 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I can't bear not to see him once a day. Those two minutes were all I needed to connect and feel him on my skin as I smoothed his face.

I love him so dearly. No one can take that away from me and I won't change is for anything in the world. He is my home and my family.
Speechless...you really do love me like that...I'm honored and blessed. Thanks Lilo.
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  #132  
Old 10-05-2009, 03:13 AM
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Only sharing my sucess and happiness baby
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  #133  
Old 10-05-2009, 03:18 AM
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Only sharing my sucess and happiness baby
So much more to come
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  #134  
Old 10-05-2009, 12:44 PM
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Sounds like mom is breaking down, slowly. Just trust that she loves you and your family more than she dislikes the idea of you being poly. And it sounds like you're able to disconnect from the pain and anger and still love her and treat her as your mom. Very inspiring. Keep it up. You're an amazing woman and if anyone can make this work out, it's you.
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  #135  
Old 10-05-2009, 06:43 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I'm glad she's letting up already RP. That's wonderful.
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  #136  
Old 10-10-2009, 04:02 AM
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Well I had posted somewhere(cant remember).That I had planned to go out with LR's other love this week and have a talk about the relationship between the two of us.We talked for a few hours, had a drink and then came home. I felt better getting my feelings and thoughts out in the open with him.Im still fighting some insecurites and fears but I not reacting to my issues anymore. LR and I have gotten much better at talking things through.I think in time C and I will become very close.


The 3 of us are planning to go out tonite and have some fun.Sis inlaw is watching the kids
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  #137  
Old 10-10-2009, 07:09 PM
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Last night I made an awesome discovery!! A lot of stuff has been piling up lately and, as per the norm, Redpepper and me did lots of self-analysis and checked in seriously with each other. We gave each other the freedom and choice to take different paths and change the nature of our loves expression. We have done this several times and once again we chose to love each other the way we are meant to.

My connection and energy were both withdrawn though and we both knew it...physically I can't hide it...nothing "happens" shall we say I'm completely non-sexual when not intimately connected to someone. (I would make the worst porn star!)

Because I hate being withdrawn and I know it hurts her as well I tried something different. I showed her where I feel my energy and connection resides inside me and asked her to help me let it out. I placed her hand there and as she spoke to me about what she felt and how much this means to her we were able to open it up, free my connection and let her into me.

She knows when I am not accepting her love and when I am not connected and withdrawn. Now I feel as though we have a way of consciously working together when that happens...that for me is another success!!
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  #138  
Old 10-10-2009, 08:04 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I showed her where I feel my energy and connection resides inside me and asked her to help me let it out. I placed her hand there and as she spoke to me about what she felt and how much this means to her we were able to open it up, free my connection and let her into me.

And no..this was not my crotch....you polies and your dirty minds
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  #139  
Old 10-11-2009, 12:52 AM
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My connection and energy were both withdrawn though and we both knew it...physically I can't hide it...nothing "happens" shall we say I'm completely non-sexual when not intimately connected to someone. (I would make the worst porn star!)
Interesting to hear someone else put it so bluntly. I have the exact same "problem" - but it's selective. Very strange. I seldom have a problem with it for a striaght-up one night stand or strictly sexual encounter - but when I have a new interest that is developing, sex can be... Challenging, lol. I can be aroused as all hell and - nothing happening. Or will start out great, and "he" loses interest 1/2 way through independently of the rest of me! Grr. Happy to perform other ways so it's rarely a problem, but it drives me crazy! Likewise, when i'm with my love, if there are problems or I don't feel that she's "into it", I can't perform - but when all is well, well - no problems, lol. This only developed after my marriage crashed and burned about 5 years ago. Weird.

Anyway - glad to hear you two have found yet another way to connect. Better and better...

Last edited by HappiestManAlive; 10-11-2009 at 12:54 AM.
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  #140  
Old 10-11-2009, 09:18 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Very strange. I seldom have a problem with it for a striaght-up one night stand or strictly sexual encounter
I'm not that surprised..I think most guys are quite capable of that. I certainly thought I would be...turns out nope! When I think back to even my early teens I was like this...I just didn't realize what was happening.

It took me 37 years, a 17 year marraige, an affair, a melt down of biblical proportions, counselling, a polyamorous relationship and tonnes of self analysis to figure out a simple concept.....no connection = nothing to "connect" with
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