Originally Posted by Aitch
GroundedSpirit when we do have sex it's fine... no not stunningly earth-shattering, but pretty good and satisfying enough and there is variety. The biggest issue is the infrequency which is often to do with him being tired when we are together and because he's well-satisfied elsewhere it just doesn't seem to occur to him that I might be feeling in need.
Ok -- with you here.
But remember - we're talking about various reasons he's not providing what YOU need - in frequency.
You say it's 'fine - satisfactory' - but I think you mean from YOUR perspective. It may not be that 'fine' for him. I don't want that to start some insecurity slide for you but it's realistic. Like I said - sexual attraction waxes & wanes - changes with the mood, experience etc. There may be some aspects of sex that he's discovered with someone else right now that's just not part of your sex play. He may be totally fascinated with it. Like a new toy or new food etc. That's why I suggested trying to find out what it might be. You might then discover that it's something you like also or at least would be comfortable with. Then you could add it to your own spice closet
There's a lot of complexity in these areas so it's good not to take it personally but instead, just make it an investigation. The more we learn the bigger the world (of sex) becomes.