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  #11  
Old 06-14-2011, 05:46 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Well this is different....

T, T2 and FHC are all out tonight on dates.

I am now experiencing jealousy X 3. How fragging awesome is that? life's weird and getting weirder. I do hope that they're having a good night though. How odd is that?

I'm alone right now, so this is where I get to really find out just how well I'm really doing. I'm having a big bowl of fear and jealousy for a snack right now. Tasty, But nothing I haven't had before.

You'd think that having a wife and two girlfriends would make this easier, but it doesn't. I'm still me and still growing up it seems. But when the fear is at its' strongest it seems so am I in a way.

Will I ever be at peace with this? Myself? Love my life, but some days.....
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  #12  
Old 06-14-2011, 06:37 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hey Freetime,
I'm just curious... about T2 and FHC. You've gone on a few dates with each of them, correct? And you already consider them girlfriends? I'm just wondering because they seem to have progressed pretty quickly from dates to girlfriend status. Are you perhaps letting yourself get a bit carried away, and maybe that's why you're feeling fear and jealousy right now? Moving too fast, maybe?
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  #13  
Old 06-14-2011, 08:29 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hey Freetime,
I'm just curious... about T2 and FHC. You've gone on a few dates with each of them, correct? And you already consider them girlfriends? I'm just wondering because they seem to have progressed pretty quickly from dates to girlfriend status. Are you perhaps letting yourself get a bit carried away, and maybe that's why you're feeling fear and jealousy right now? Moving too fast, maybe?
Me? moving to fast? Maybe. My feelings are pretty low key compared to when this rodeo got started. the move from date to girlfriend was and is based on the level of intimacy I currently have with T2 and FHC. I'm not including sex in the discussion because it's not what I'd ever base a real relationship on, just not my style. We moved from date to BF/ GF status because of the emotional and intellectual intimacy created between us, and that's what counts for me.

More to come later, have a morning date with FHC.
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  #14  
Old 06-14-2011, 11:12 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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How did you meet these 2 women anyway? All of a sudden, they were just there, and you were head over heels with both.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #15  
Old 06-14-2011, 11:39 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
How did you meet these 2 women anyway? All of a sudden, they were just there, and you were head over heels with both.
I think they are part of a local poly group.
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  #16  
Old 06-14-2011, 05:27 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
Hopefully it's no one I know.
I was thinking the same thing
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  #17  
Old 06-14-2011, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
T, T2 and FHC are all out tonight on dates.

I am now experiencing jealousy X 3. How fragging awesome is that? life's weird and getting weirder. I do hope that they're having a good night though. How odd is that?

I'm alone right now, so this is where I get to really find out just how well I'm really doing. I'm having a big bowl of fear and jealousy for a snack right now. Tasty, But nothing I haven't had before.

You'd think that having a wife and two girlfriends would make this easier, but it doesn't. I'm still me and still growing up it seems. But when the fear is at its' strongest it seems so am I in a way.

Will I ever be at peace with this? Myself? Love my life, but some days.....
Alone time can be a wonderful thing too. I treat my alone time as self date nights. I do what I want to do with my time without having to answer to anyone else or come to a compromise. Usually I'm home with the kids so it's not a fancy date but it is dinner and a movie the way I like it. Sometimes it's just a matter of putting a new spin on it.
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  #18  
Old 06-14-2011, 08:04 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
How did you meet these 2 women anyway? All of a sudden, they were just there, and you were head over heels with both.
I believe FHC met him here, and is Feedhercandy on this forum. T2 is married to M who is seeing his wife.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #19  
Old 06-17-2011, 10:53 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Still more to learn.

I was out with T2 tonight. Wonderful, loving and fun. But I found myself struggling at one point with honesty, emotional.

We were talking about my trips to California and all of the cool people I know, when I was hit with a wall of grief over the death of my friend Ryan in Nov 2010. He was a Police officer, only 27 yrs old, served 2 tours in Iraq, and was killed in the line of duty less then a year after returning home. Ryan was 18 yrs old when I first met him, he was one of the youngest members of a group of hobbyists I belong to, and yet one of the most squared away people I ever met. And I miss him dearly.

The point though, is that I had difficulty showing just how much sadness and grief I still carry for him. I now realize that I've taken no time to process this and that all of that grieving I put off for another day, has in fact arrived.

Since this stroll into Poly started I've made a deal with the universe that I won't lie or hide how I feel when I'm with the people I love ever again, and yet I nearly did. T2 caught it to, She's very observant and already knows me well. Scary really. T2 was awesome, kind loving and gentle, allowed me time to outflow and then get back to our date.

Somewhat humorous that I'd be concerned what she might think of me, when I have my last 3 months of living posted up here for all to see.

Having 3 intelligent, wickedly smart, highly observant women in my life leaves little room for pretense or dishonesty. And in this one area they cut me no slack, and I am a much better man and human being because of it.

Time for sleep. be well folks

Freetime.
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  #20  
Old 06-17-2011, 11:08 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I believe FHC met him here, and is Feedhercandy on this forum. T2 is married to M who is seeing his wife.
Is this correct? You met Feedhercandy here on this board, and you and your wife are in a quad arrangement with another couple, M and T2? This second scenario is something so many polys seem to want, and so seldom find.


Sorry about your friend's violent end.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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