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  #991  
Old 06-10-2011, 05:00 AM
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I got a text tonight saying he is sorry he hurt me and asking if we should meet and talk to see where this is going before our date. I hadn't told him I was not going... I wrote back and said no thank you and that I was likely not going on our date either (the women are still humming and ha-ing over when to go to the movie and the date might still change). I said my priority is my show right now and that I need to think about it all and will bet back to him on Saturday.

Its so much work at this point. I just want to avoid. I know it won't be respectful to just walk away, but really, that would be easiest. I'm pretty sure that no matter what I say he will screw it around to make himself look better, so why bother. I likely will though.
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Last edited by redpepper; 06-10-2011 at 05:05 AM.
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  #992  
Old 06-10-2011, 06:13 PM
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Relationships are an investment. So often I hear people who think they are to be consumed, as if they are buying a new toy... once the toy has been played with they find another, shelve the old one and sometimes get it out later. I see this happen with people around sex quite often.

I don't do that. I think that is my problem. Or perhaps the difference I have between others and myself. Every single fucking relationship I have I invest EVERYTHING into. It might not appear so, but I do. It makes for successful relationships if the person I do this with does the same... that I am happy about.

When I find that I am a toy to someone else I get confused and hurt. I find it hard to just lighten up and laugh that off. I wish I could, but it has been a life long journey of not being able to and the more time goes on the less I trust anyone right from the beginning of meeting them.

I think I need to practice not allowing people to penetrate my heart so quickly. I think I need a thicker skin. The veil between my heart and their way of being is so thin for so many I am constantly being hurt by others... its exhausting and debilitating.
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  #993  
Old 06-10-2011, 06:22 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I don't do that. I think that is my problem. Or perhaps the difference I have between others and myself. Every single fucking relationship I have I invest EVERYTHING into. It might not appear so, but I do. It makes for successful relationships if the person I do this with does the same... that I am happy about.
Yep, me too. That's one of the reasons I've been pulling back "into my shell" recently. I've limited myself to LITERALLY 2 people outside of the household that I talk to regularly in person, 2 online and a couple of threads I read on here. I just can't take it right now. It's too damn painful to expose myself to when I'm already hurting over the mess with Maca.

I love ya RP. You're a strong, beautiful, smart woman.
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  #994  
Old 06-10-2011, 07:09 PM
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Yep, me too. That's one of the reasons I've been pulling back "into my shell" recently. I've limited myself to LITERALLY 2 people outside of the household that I talk to regularly in person, 2 online and a couple of threads I read on here. I just can't take it right now. It's too damn painful to expose myself to when I'm already hurting over the mess with Maca.

I love ya RP. You're a strong, beautiful, smart woman.
Oh man can I relate. I am completely used up right now. You and I are so empathetic and take so much of other peoples stuff on. We are caregivers you and I and when it comes to us being loved by others, there is usually no one left but ourselves.

Here's to you my friend. I am so glad that you are out there. You make my heart less heavy knowing so.

I feel blessed just having the select few appreciate and take care of me when I am feeling like this. It all comes around, doesn't it? When I get my strength back those who are holding me up right now will be lavished with love and support for it. Abundance, abundance, abundance.
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  #995  
Old 06-11-2011, 02:01 PM
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Woohoo!! Great show last night Lilo You're sexy, gorgeous and one vibrant lady! I love you XOXO
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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 06-11-2011 at 08:30 PM.
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  #996  
Old 06-11-2011, 03:21 PM
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RP, I am sorry but Leo just doesn't seem worth the hassle. At all. Especially when you've got the loving PN and Mono by your side.
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  #997  
Old 06-12-2011, 03:34 PM
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Woohoo!! Great show last night Lilo You're sexy, gorgeous and one vibrant lady! I love you XOXO
Seconding the sentiment!
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  #998  
Old 06-12-2011, 03:56 PM
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RP, I am sorry but Leo just doesn't seem worth the hassle. At all. Especially when you've got the loving PN and Mono by your side.
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Seconding the sentiment!
Oh yeah and you've got Derby as well. Sorry, Derby!

3 lovers. Don't know why you feel you need Leo, when he's so bad at communicating.
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  #999  
Old 06-12-2011, 05:12 PM
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Apparently the show was a huge success last night? Or Friday night rather?

RP: here's an idea I've passed around to others, I feel you could use it, along with some huge hugs, right about now.

Write out what's bothering you about this situation with Leo, what you want to tell him, how things are making you feel, what you want to see happen.

Having it in writing seems to help me get those thoughts to gel into a more coherent form and gives me a more concrete something to base a decision on.

Once you've got it down in writing give yourself permission to get angry or grieve, or whatever it is you need to do and move forward with your life. Don't let this situation get you down and out (yeah, I know, easier said than done).

Just remember: you've got three men in that house who love you to bits and will give you all the hugs you need whenever you need them. Take them up on it, go grab some hugs, give out some smiles . You'll feel better. You've also got Derby in your life who, I'm sure, is good for some hugs and smiles .

HUGS!
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  #1000  
Old 06-12-2011, 06:20 PM
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RP: here's an idea I've passed around to others, I feel you could use it, along with some huge hugs, right about now.

Write out what's bothering you about this situation with Leo, what you want to tell him, how things are making you feel, what you want to see happen.

Having it in writing seems to help me get those thoughts to gel into a more coherent form and gives me a more concrete something to base a decision on.
I dunno, from over here, it looks like it's done. Why beat a dead horse? I've learned that, for me, long explanations are counter-productive when it's time to let someone go. Just give the most succinct, concise reason and be done with it. No one can argue with a simple "this doesn't work for me anymore."

And remember RP, letting go can be so-o-o freeing! You've been feeling a little heavy lately, and it could be related to the fact that you've been holding onto this relationship that doesn't satisfy you very much. If it's become more of a burden or sore spot than a blessing and joy, letting go of Leo could do wonders for your spirit!
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-12-2011 at 06:23 PM.
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