Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #91  
Old 10-07-2009, 01:38 AM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

I hate my hormones!!!!! I think they are trying to F with me again and let loose my devils advocate. I have no rational reason to think anything has changed or gone wrong. Elric and I are still supposed to get together for dinner Thursday night (did I mention that in a post somewhere) but spending this week by myself is really hard. I had expected it but you know how you can never truly prepare for some things, well this is one of those things for me. He is the only person in the area that knows I'm here again and I wonder if I do that on purpose...other than not wanting to have to explain to anyone else why I'm here in IL without my husband or daughter or both, staying at a hotel alone... And my brain is going a thousand miles a minute and today Elric has been popping into my mind about every 25-30 miles in both guises as friend and as a man I love! GAH!!! Really need to go take some Tylenol or something. Sorry, had to rant a little. Thanks for listening.
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 10-07-2009, 05:35 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

I worry about you V. You seem to put yourself in situations that confuse you. Hope you are doing OK.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 10-07-2009, 05:56 PM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

lol, thanks Mono. I worry about myself sometimes too. I'm doing better today at least, it really is a day by day thing for me. I have a psych appointment at the end of the month to re-evaluate my meds so hopefully that will help and make things more of a week by week or month by month thing instead of a day by day thing.

The purpose of being alone this week is to work on myself. What I want and need. Where do I want to go with my life and etc. I came here specifically because I feel safe and comfortable at this hotel and as it is next to the town I grew up in I know the area. Plus my Marsh is here which is where I finally will be able to go spend some time at today and just sit and relax and think and write.

If you are concerned about the dinner tomorrow night, I am too, but not. I am more worried about trying to get through the evening without any of our usual drama. That is the whole purpose, to get together with a friend and hang out. This is a good thing, really. Confusing, a little, but without the moving on in our friendship and seeing that we can just hang out as friends, I'd be in a much worse mental and emotional position.

Ok, I have to go eat and get my stuff together for my Marsh visit. But I'll be back, probably Friday at least to let you all know how dinner went.
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 10-07-2009, 07:08 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Sounds good.

Take care
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 10-09-2009, 05:18 AM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

So tonight sucked. I'd had a feeling all day that this evening was gonna be disappointing and I was right, but not the way I expected at all. So I get a call from Elric after he leaves work which is when he is supposed to be coming over. Instead he's on his was to the hospital cause his dad had to have emergency surgery. He's doing ok thankfully. Elric feels bad since he did want to see me and now instead of having time to talk and whatever I get to see him for his lunch break tomorrow since I'm picking up Cajun at the airport tomorrow night.

And yes, I am glad his dad is doing ok and that he spent the time with his family, but I am very disappointed and envious since this was supposed to be our time and I probably won't be back in town until December.

I just have one last thing to say... Elric's and my timing must SUCK!!! I swear "destiny" or "fate" or whatever just don't want us hanging out even.
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 10-09-2009, 05:24 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
"destiny" or "fate" or whatever just don't want us hanging out even.
Just trust in them V. I'm sure they have your welfare in mind when they throw curve balls...I know that doesn't help but I'll give you a smile too there..that's better!
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 10-09-2009, 06:29 AM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

Thanks Mono. I think I get what you are saying.

And I really appreciated what you had to say in your last topic start. It really has me thinking again about things I have to work on. I really want to be a part of Elrics life even if it just as a friend. I know I can do it, I just have to do some work on myself first I think. So maybe it's a good thing that we won't see each other again until December, and even that is a maybe. Hopefully in the next couple of months I can get my head in the right place and in line with my heart.
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 10-09-2009, 06:36 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

There is no one person in this world that doesn't have something to work on V. It's a part of being human.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 10-09-2009, 10:21 PM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

How true that is.

He's coming by today after work...or at least that is the plan. I'll know for sure in the next 15 minutes. I'll let you know all the juicy detail. ;P (yeah like there are going to be any. lol)
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 10-13-2009, 01:18 AM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Default

Well, like I feared, no juicy details.

He was unable to come after work as he had an appointment which he had forgotten about. We did talk for about 30 minutes on the phone on his way to the appointment. He really does feel bad about missing out on getting together with me and that he was afraid I was thinking he was avoiding me, which he assured me that he wasn't.

But Cajun's flight came in on time and we spent the rest of the weekend together and had a nice time and an uneventful drive back home.

Who knows where this is going to go now. Maybe I'll start a new chapter as I think I am feeling like a border or wall has been placed between the past and the present and future of our (Elric & my) relationship. But that is probably a very good thing. I see that border as "what's passed is past, time to start working on the future."

So, to the future! *cheers*
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:17 PM.