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  #11  
Old 06-11-2011, 09:09 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
fuck buddy
Thanks

Is the assumption here that the other person doesn't have the same level sex drive?

If so, and it's a poly dynamic, why not find someone who may fulfill that need, while also fulfilling the poly requirement. Is there something stopping that type of search.
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  #12  
Old 06-12-2011, 04:59 AM
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Not me.
This person has a high sex drive, is pretty serious about not having sex unless in a relationship (at least in theory).
But, doesn't have the opportunity due to living situation to see either of their lovers daily at a time and place conducive to sex. 3-4 times a week, yes. But not daily and it "wears thin".
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  #13  
Old 06-12-2011, 11:19 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Oh, so this mysterious person does get to have sex 3 or 4 times a week? That's pretty damn good. Personally, I'd love to have sex every day, and only get to have it about 3-4 times a week. My only suggestion, from personal experience, is, make those 3 or 4 times with a partner(s) as good as possible, and get better at masturbation.

I think fuck buddies count as a relationship, myself. 2 people relating to each other, even if it's mostly sexual.... still a relationship.

Maybe find a nice cybersex partner as well... it can be a bit more fun than just doing it alone.
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  #14  
Old 06-12-2011, 01:01 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post

Maybe find a nice cybersex partner as well... it can be a bit more fun than just doing it alone.
Or get a custom blow-up doll and a tape recorder. Throw some technological nostalgia in there for good measure. Maybe "they" could turn that into some kind of fetish and get a two-for.


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  #15  
Old 06-12-2011, 01:32 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Not me.
This person has a high sex drive, is pretty serious about not having sex unless in a relationship (at least in theory).
But, doesn't have the opportunity due to living situation to see either of their lovers daily at a time and place conducive to sex. 3-4 times a week, yes. But not daily and it "wears thin".
Well, more info changes the context here.
2-4 times a week is pretty good for most people with anything else going on in their lives. Seems masturbation should be able to fill in the gaps there for a majority of people. If that's really that unsatisfying I think they need to work on connecting a bit more to reality. We can't always get what we want ALL the time. That's just how life is. To fight that and allow it to become a real problem in our life that's worth talking about says something about the person's emotional state/capability. Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.

Maybe..........

gs
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  #16  
Old 06-12-2011, 02:35 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
We can't always get what we want ALL the time. That's just how life is. To fight that and allow it to become a real problem in our life that's worth talking about says something about the person's emotional state/capability. Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.

Maybe..........

gs
To that end, I would suggest volunteering at a hospice or a homeless shelter in order to gain some perspective. If that doesn't work, SSRI's have been known to generate results, as has cognitive-behavioural therapy.
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  #17  
Old 06-12-2011, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
3-4 times a week, yes. But not daily and it "wears thin".
And they're complaining?? LOL.
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  #18  
Old 06-12-2011, 11:52 PM
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This person is feeling alienated from their SO, and really only has enjoyable sex when the other person/people are involved? That doesn't sound like a healthy foundation for a sustainable poly dynamic.
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  #19  
Old 06-13-2011, 12:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.
That was my thought. But, my thoughts are not tinged kindly right now, thus I asked all of you instead. Thanks everyone.
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  #20  
Old 06-13-2011, 12:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SvartSvensk View Post
This person is feeling alienated from their SO, and really only has enjoyable sex when the other person/people are involved? That doesn't sound like a healthy foundation for a sustainable poly dynamic.
yes and no. This person alienates themself from their partner.
But this issue is that due to location of where they live, they can now only see their SO overnight a 2-4 times a week and their other partner once every couple a weeks. Used to being able to have sex any day of any week. But, in light of their new living arrangement, only 3-4 times a week.

Shrug.

I just wanted to gain perspective from some people on the outside, so I could filter my response more appropriately.
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