New and Learning
Hello everyone! I am really glad to have found this forum. I am 31 years old and in an open relationship. However, this is new territory for both of us. We have been together for almost a year. On date one, we both expressed interested in possible polyamory. We had both had failed monogamous relationships, and I had once been a secondary relationship to an established primary. That primary relationship I witnessed was the most loving and honest relationship I every witnessed, and from that point it was a curiosity of mine. And I've finally found that person who wanted to explore it with me. We are both very clear in our desire for a strong primary relationship, which is why we stayed monogamous for our first 8 months together.
Monogamy has always felt weird to me, and to be honest I have cheated in most of my longer relationships (as has he). We are very honest with each other, but as I said, we are both total newbies. We are learning how to deal with expressing our needs and feelings.
I have been involved with a casual second partner for about two months, and B is about to start his first outside relationship. It is so much harder being on this side! I feel like I'm being ridiculous feeling jealous, when he is only doing what I've already been doing. I assume it's normal, but I'm still beating myself up a bit.
Oh, and in the browsing I've done on here, I keep getting confused with all the abbreviations. Is there some place to find out what it all means?