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  #21  
Old 04-15-2011, 10:26 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
*snorts Coke out of her nose*
Well as long as you aren't snorting coke up your nose...it's all good!
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  #22  
Old 04-16-2011, 03:31 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by stargazer23 View Post


My current set of challenges involve "coming out" to myself and finally, to my soon-to-be-ex-husband who has very traditional, monogamist values. All attempts at frank, rational conversation with him on the topic led to more and more mistrust and restrictions and finally, to violent arguing (things thrown, lots of screaming) and verbal abuse.

I am now working on putting myself in a financially stable situation so that I can move with my son to New Orleans--a city more accepting of my "proclivities" where I have friends and am happy.
Oh darn it. Sorry your STBX isn't on board with polyamory. That is unfortunate.


Quote:

1. I want a "primary" with whom I am also the "primary."
2. I'm pretty sure I want a non-monogamous but secure, committed relationship with this primary where there are "safe sex circle" rules.
3. I want both myself and the primary to be free to have both sexual intimacy as well as the liberty to love others of each primary's choosing--so long as the primary relationship is not placed at risk.
4. I want ALL parties to be treated with the same amount of respect and love and honesty. The "satellite" relationships might not have as much choice in the workings of my relationship with my "primary," but their feelings will matter. Their rights and value will matter.
I've got a primary partner. We've been together over 2 years and dealing with being poly is one of the easiest of our issues. Even when one or the other of us doesn't have a suitable secondary, it's so nice to just be able to check out hot people on the street together and not feel threatened! We have similar taste in men and women we find attractive, so it's real fun!

Since you mentioned that "humans aren't monogamist animals," may I also recommend Sex at Dawn? It's got tons of data which very convincingly shows humans, like bonobos, are meant to be (promiscuous, poly, swingers) non-monogamous. Pre-agricultural unter/gatherer tribes of 10,000 yrs ago, and present day foraging societies in many countries, share goods/food/child-rearing, as they do their bodies for sex.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
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  #23  
Old 04-16-2011, 03:19 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I've got a primary partner. We've been together over 2 years and dealing with being poly is one of the easiest of our issues. Even when one or the other of us doesn't have a suitable secondary, it's so nice to just be able to check out hot people on the street together and not feel threatened! We have similar taste in men and women we find attractive, so it's real fun!

Since you mentioned that "humans aren't monogamist animals," may I also recommend Sex at Dawn? It's got tons of data which very convincingly shows humans, like bonobos, are meant to be (promiscuous, poly, swingers) non-monogamous. Pre-agricultural unter/gatherer tribes of 10,000 yrs ago, and present day foraging societies in many countries, share goods/food/child-rearing, as they do their bodies for sex.
You always say the most intriguing things! This made me giggle today. No idea why.
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  #24  
Old 04-17-2011, 01:37 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by Carma View Post
I was not a whore. I was not a stupid whore, either.
I totally get that, Carma. Sorry if I offended you, I'm involved with sex worker rights activism and have a somewhat morbid relationship with the W word. I've been called Stupid Whore for living my life the way I love it, so the word has more positive connotations for me.

In what comes to labels, I think they always tell more about the person using them than about the person they are used on. So when I read 'whore', it immediately connects in my mind with the sex work movement, like in the 'Declaration of the Rights of Whores' etc. Positive re-claiming stuff. I was being sarcastic about the way many people seem to damn women who are in control of their own sexuality and damn those that aren't. Comments like 'stupid whore' just emphasize the way this ideology that upholds the whole whore/madonna paradigm really says that sex is something women do for men/money/to have children/wtf ever, and if they do it for themselves, they are whores and/or sluts.
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  #25  
Old 06-10-2011, 12:03 AM
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I wonder if the world was poly, would the brothels go out of business?
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  #26  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Gecko View Post
I wonder if the world was poly, would the brothels go out of business?
Oh no, I don't think so!! They would be life-affirming sacred sanctuaries where people could find healing, relieve stress, and just have a good time without being stigmatized. Anyone working there, male, female, or otherwise, would be there of their own free will, not in deference to some abusive pimp, and making money doing what they love. And sex work would not be illegal and all genders and orientations could go and partake of what was available. And of course, all the poly scientists would have worked double fast to find cures for every STI and STD out there, so we'd be all right.
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-10-2011 at 03:37 AM.
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  #27  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:34 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I want to live in NYCindie's world!
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  #28  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:43 AM
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Yeah, instead of heading downtown to hang out at the shake shack or burger joint, people would go to the sex bars. And most would be alcohol-free, for those who do not imbibe, but also so that people know they can be clear-headed while engaging in sex with someone they don't know and for which they paid. And there would be playgrounds outside, just like McDonald's, where children would play while waiting for one or both parents to come out and they would learn that sex is good for the soul and body. And the workers would send holiday cards to all their customers and people would hang them up with the cards from their families and say things like, "Oh, did you see the card that Emma sent us? She gives such great head." And relatives would nod and agree or talk about their favorite professional before clinking glasses in a holiday toast.
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The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 06-10-2011 at 03:48 AM.
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  #29  
Old 06-10-2011, 04:13 AM
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stargazer23 stargazer23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gecko View Post
I wonder if the world was poly, would the brothels go out of business?
Probably not. Poly is about love. Brothels are about instant gratification of fantasy and need.
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  #30  
Old 06-10-2011, 04:14 AM
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I want to live in NYCindie's world!
Me too.
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"Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

How can you claim to love someone with all your heart if you can't stand to let them love with all of theirs?
-me
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