Cheating, once removed

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by redpepper

Hey lovingradiance, thanks for sharing your story btw, again, by sharing healing happens as it offers well earned knowledge and wisdom to others in need....

It is hard to fess up to cheating. I too did it and am still embarrassed and ashamed... it was years and years ago, a one shot thing, I vowed to never do it again.

What continued was my guilt about being in love with others and the guilt continued because I had the potential to do it again because I couldn't act on that love.... no problem now that I am poly. I can fully accept and feel no guilt because of my understanding of myself in the context of poly.

I don't have an issue with acknowledging where I went wrong. I know I was wrong.
I did feel somewhat stupid when I found the term poly-because I thought-GOD NO WONDER I'VE BEEN A F-UP IN RELATIONSHIPS. Because I always have felt love for more than one person at a time AND I am bi. But now that Maca and I are on the same page with one another-I feel more real than I have in my whole life.

[redpepper]

Um, this is a public forum, not a poly group. We all need to remember that we are on here to give our opinion and to do with information what we will. It's not about judging each other... if you are feeling judged anyone then I suggest you are investing too much emotion in this....

I gotta say that I recent that I put my time and energy into this forum and to be thought of as "judging" really frustrates me. If people don't want an opinion from me or anyone else on here, then I suggest you don't tell us your story.

We aren't here to be nice to each other always. We can get that from those close in our lives.... I said it before, it's kind of like driving in traffic. We have our opinion on how people should drive, but they never hear us when we are talking about it in our car as we watch them. On here, you hear us.... end of story.

Enough said, I just spent all day on this thread and feel like I wasted my time.... I'm not spending all night too... besides I am ready to spend time with Mono now.....

[LovingRadiance]

Gee RP-I sure hope that wasnt in response to my reply to you! I appreciated your kindness and was just acknowledging that I don't have an issue admitting I f'd up cheating.

I sure hope I missed something-cause I didn't think you were being judgmental and wasn't upset with you.

Have fun with mono.

[redpepper]

Thank you lovingradiance, it was no particular person really.

I have VERY strong feelings about cheating, as you can see and very firm beliefs.... those beliefs come from hard earned experience and on the misfortunes of others...

I am always willing to sway my opinion and although I am a hard ass about certain things, I am open to hearing both sides of the coin. PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG IN THIS! I just can not see any positives to cheating AT ALL. There is always a better alternative in my opinion.

I guess I just find it hard to swallow that someone would say that I am judging when they are obviously judging me by even saying that. I'm not stupid, I know that there is far more going on in peoples lives than we read on here. I know this because there is far more going on in my life than what is said on here.

Please don't assume that if you read stuff on a forum that people say that you know them. You know one small portion of their life and that IS IT. When I write on here it is to that portion of their life that I have an opinion, not of them as people. I don't know them, they don't know me. If I want to get to know them or them me then I invest the time elsewhere, not on here. I have started some good friendships on this forum and I can say that they started when we talked away from here, not necessarily on here. Perspective on these things would be appreciated.

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by redpepper

Thank you lovingradiance, it was no particular person really.

I have VERY strong feelings about cheating, as you can see and very firm beliefs.... those beliefs come from hard earned experience and on the misfortunes of others...

I am always willing to sway my opinion and although I am a hard ass about certain things, I am open to hearing both sides of the coin. PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG IN THIS! I just can not see any positives to cheating AT ALL. There is always a better alternative in my opinion.

I guess I just find it hard to swallow that someone would say that I am judging when they are obviously judging me by even saying that. I'm not stupid, I know that there is far more going on in peoples lives than we read on here. I know this because there is far more going on in my life than what is said on here.

Please don't assume that if you read stuff on a forum that people say that you know them. You know one small portion of their life and that IS IT. When I write on here it is to that portion of their life that I have an opinion, not of them as people. I don't know them, they don't know me. If I want to get to know them or them me then I invest the time elsewhere, not on here. I have started some good friendships on this forum and I can say that they started when we talked away from here, not necessarily on here. Perspective on these things would be appreciated.

I agree. I talked on another forum for 3 years. I made a few friends who I spoke with outside of that forum, but the truth is that it would be impossible to "know" one another in full strictly from what is shared on here!
I just noted that your message was directly after mine and didn't seem to fit in context to what I was saying.

At any rate-I understand what you are saying.