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Old 06-06-2011, 05:40 PM
Terra's Avatar
Terra Terra is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 11
Default Talking to parents about the polyamory lifestyle

Perhaps this should go into the "New to polyamory" section, but I'm throwing it out here. I am very close to my parents. My mother literally lives a mile down the road from us and is very active with our lives and with caring for our daughter. We both work, and she has always been very involved- providing care when our daughter is sick, picking her up at school so we can go home and get dinner ready, letting her have sleepovers so we can have "date night" every week, etc. Because of this, it seemed impractical to not let her know that we've decided to try out polyamory, as she always asks what we're doing when we go out, etc. The whole idea of "opening" our marriage was so that there would be no deceit, as I slipped up and had an affair and could not live that way.

So, with the spirit of "openness", I told my mother that my husband and I are seeing other people and that we are supportive of one another in these efforts. I mentioned the word "polyamory" to her, and she had never even heard of it. Her first thought was that we had become swingers, and I had to sit down and explain the differences. In any case, she is struggling to accept our choices, feels we are "setting a bad example" for our five year old daughter, and even showed up to one of my therapy sessions in order to confront me about it. It's causing a lot of tension in our day-to-day interactions, and I am not sure how to handle things.

I'm curious to know how others have handled discussing polyamory with their parents, and also to see if anyone has any advice. I am not going to base my life's decisions on the approval of my parents, but at the same time, the particular family arrangement we have requires us to live in harmony.
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