Yeah, I think you both have valid perspectives. If he doesn't have a clue as to what my expectations are or doesn't realize the affect a behavior or lack there of is having on me, then we aren't communicating our needs(I am not perhaps). As intelligent as he thinks he is, the man does not have ESP so why do I expect him to read my mind?
At the same time, some of my expectations may not be entirely fair if it is not something he...or KT in this instance, thinks is important. I often get annoyed when I have to explain things in detail, I automatically assume he knows what I want or I'm thinking. Not so. We can finish eachother's sentences once in awhile but no magical sensory perception going-on! So sometimes I should spell it out better.
Originally Posted by Derbylicious
. Even if you have told him do you think he's really heard you?
In a nutshell, no!
Derby- had to laugh at the timing of your post, I just spent 5 hours on and off the phone communicating my expectations and arguing with 2R about the responsibility of meeting expectations. Long argument, emotional and often angry. It finally was resolved. But later on after the battle, I reflected on my own shit of which NYCI speaks...I am going to work on thinking things thru before sharing my expectations and unilaterally thinking he/she must not only understand but agree to it. 2R said, "Not everything you think is right and works, works for everyone else. Not that I disagree with you, but not everyone has the same idea of right, as a matter of fact MOST people would think even our lifestyle is wrong." Point taken.