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  #11  
Old 05-21-2011, 04:15 PM
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Squibby Squibby is offline
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Lol I shall have to learn to be sneaksy =P

Thanks for your advice everybody!
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  #12  
Old 05-21-2011, 08:57 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Squibby View Post
=/ I am a terrible actor though! Haha, don't you think talking about polyamory like that would kind of be a bit obvious? ("Oh hey, did you know we're polyamorous? Oh, well it means etc etc - isn't that interesting? Just thought we'd happen to talk about it now at this moment...")
I would stay away from the poly word altogether, because you will end up having to define things. Stick with open, or non-monogamous. People know what those mean.

The other method for coming out, is if they ask about your partner, use THAT as a way to come out. Say they ask how s/he is, that's a perfect opportunity to mention that your partner had a good date, or if they ask what the two of you are doing on a weekend, mention the upcoming date your partner has.

Lots of different ways to do it! Check out the coming out thread.

Last edited by TruckerPete; 05-21-2011 at 08:58 PM. Reason: typo
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  #13  
Old 05-22-2011, 12:17 AM
Hopeful Hopeful is offline
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I'm in this boat too. My husband and I have just recently opened our marriage, and there's this guy... We have a very flirtatious friendship, and I have feelings for him. I strongly suspect my feelings are reciprocated. My husband has already said he'd be thrilled to see this relationship develop into a V-type scenario with me as the hinge. But because our friendship exists in this weird liminal "he knows I'm married and respects that even though..." state, I'm at a loss how to break it to him in a way that doesn't freak him out completely. Especially since his marriage ended badly and infidelity was a factor.

Basically, we've been friend-zoning each other so long and so hard that I'm kind of scared to screw things up. My strategy thus far has been to slowly introduce the nature of my marriage into conversations, and kind of waiting to see how he takes these little bits of the situation. In a perfect world, I could say "I'm open to a relationship with you, and my husband is completely supportive. How 'bout it?" But in real life...
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  #14  
Old 05-23-2011, 08:00 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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yeah, i found myself in this situation again this weekend with our friend H. we banter and tease back and forth but i honestly can't tell if some of it is flirting or not, . to add to my feelings over the whole thing, my fiancee C has said that H fills a relationship need i have and that we're really cute together. i'm glad that C is comfortable with me hanging out with H when we're all together and enjoys it but what if i would like to explore this further? i have suspected on occasion that H might have feelings for me but he doesn't know about the whole poly thing. as for me i'm unsure of my feelings for H, he's interesting, fun to spend time with and cute in that brainy sort of way but i don't know.
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  #15  
Old 05-31-2011, 06:12 PM
Hopeful Hopeful is offline
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yeah, i found myself in this situation again this weekend with our friend H. we banter and tease back and forth but i honestly can't tell if some of it is flirting or not, . to add to my feelings over the whole thing, my fiancee C has said that H fills a relationship need i have and that we're really cute together. i'm glad that C is comfortable with me hanging out with H when we're all together and enjoys it but what if i would like to explore this further? i have suspected on occasion that H might have feelings for me but he doesn't know about the whole poly thing. as for me i'm unsure of my feelings for H, he's interesting, fun to spend time with and cute in that brainy sort of way but i don't know.
This is my life. Right here. Oh man. It's like I'm back in junior high - does he like like me? Or just like me? We flirt, we talk, we enjoy each other's company...and he knows I'm married and I don't know if that's a deal-breaker or not. It's not for husband; he's said the exact same thing that C has said to you. I'd be a liar if I said it wasn't a little fun, but it's also nerve-wracking.
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  #16  
Old 06-03-2011, 08:14 PM
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Squibby Squibby is offline
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Originally Posted by Hopeful View Post
This is my life. Right here. Oh man. It's like I'm back in junior high - does he like like me? Or just like me? We flirt, we talk, we enjoy each other's company...and he knows I'm married and I don't know if that's a deal-breaker or not. It's not for husband; he's said the exact same thing that C has said to you. I'd be a liar if I said it wasn't a little fun, but it's also nerve-wracking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrxI_euTX4A What I have always feared........0.0
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  #17  
Old 06-03-2011, 10:21 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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haha horrifying but true.
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