Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-20-2011, 05:32 PM
Erosa's Avatar
Erosa Erosa is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 138
Default The Stats Don't Match.

I just have to ask something...

Statistically (roughly, and since 2009) 11% of females born females identify themselves as bisexual or lesbian. 10% of males identify themselves as bisexual or gay.

Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)

This really is idle curiosity in some respect but I also have to wonder; why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men? Especially when statistics seems to indicate only a 1% difference?
__________________
With all my heart I will love and not fail,
With all my soul I will fly and not fall.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-20-2011, 06:18 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men?
I can only speak for the world I have lived in for most of my life. I will put this as simple as I can. Woman +woman = cool. Men + men = not cool.

I bet a lot of men are curious abut having sex with other men...but we, as in men, are heavily trained and influenced that doing anything "gay" is wrong.

Essentially, our closet is bigger than yours.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-20-2011, 10:01 PM
drtalon's Avatar
drtalon drtalon is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 112
Default

It might be where you live, too. The percentages don't tell you where those bisexuals are born or live (or where they are more or less likely to identify as bi).
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-20-2011, 11:08 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,288
Default

This is discussed quite a bit in another thread, mostly in the last pages:

Gay, Bi-, Queer Polyamory
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 05-20-2011 at 11:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-21-2011, 01:48 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Yea Erosa - Mon pretty much summed it up in a sentence or two.

Despite years of activism and publicity, homophobia has really not changed. It seems to have taken a dip for a few years but has been on the growth pattern again the last few years.
I don't know whether it will ever be overcome - at least in western culture.

But on the other hand, although you may have experienced that female bisexuality (the label) is far more common, if you have time and the opportunity, I suspect that you will discover that the number of men who are actually open to bisexual experimentation is far greater than advertised. But you won't see it publicly announced. But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it

GS
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-21-2011, 02:02 PM
Kittywitch's Avatar
Kittywitch Kittywitch is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: N. Little Rock, AR
Posts: 18
Default

I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.
__________________
Shrink and Rei
N. Little Rock M/F Couple
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-22-2011, 09:06 PM
Erosa's Avatar
Erosa Erosa is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 138
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kittywitch View Post
I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.
Kitty, I totally agree with you about the "Man Code" book. I would love to burn it and all the rules you mentioned.

I also think that book contains the two rules that annoy me most in it;

1. When a woman talks about her problems, she wants you to interrupt with possible solutions.

2. You are under no obligation to communicate daily with your female partners, even if you said you would.
__________________
With all my heart I will love and not fail,
With all my soul I will fly and not fall.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-26-2011, 06:25 PM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 154
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)
My experience on this says the stats are right around correct, if not a little on the low side. Out of every male I know in a poly type relationship (yes, I'm including open ones as well), most are at least bi-curious with about 1-10 being fully bi. I myself identify with bi-curious (mostly because I won't commit to bi-sexual until I've done more) and Wendigo, my wife's boyfriend, is fully bi-sexual.

Then again, it could just be where I'm living as well.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-28-2011, 01:19 PM
BrigidsDaughter's Avatar
BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it

GS
Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-28-2011, 02:11 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.
You're absolutely right Brigids !
I think that starts to change sometimes if you get a few multipartner experiences under your belt. Your imagination starts to come back. And imagination in sex is critical !



GS
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:39 PM.