Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-26-2011, 10:29 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
Posts: 163
Default New approach

As this journey continues for T and I, I'm going to have to change what I post here. When I started I had Ts agreement to post about her and how I saw this going for us/me. Now that we have established connections in poly land locally I have to consider the anonymity and feelings of all involved. It's a small community here and I know far to little about the connections and relationships to be tromping around as I have.

Being new to poly doesn't excuse me from practicing personal discretion in matters that may include others, ever.

M2, T2, and ### have been nothing but kind warm and good hearted showing me and T generosity and friendship all along the way. I want to look after those relationships and not hurt the very people I'm trying to befriend.
I may have already overstepped my bounds here, not sure really, but I'll know for certain soon I think.

This communications stuff is more complicated then the book on physics and quantum mechanics I'm currently reading. Who knew?
Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2011, 11:18 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

well, if they are people that have experienced poly before and are really willing to be in this with you, they will hopeful see your posts as the process they are and the beginning of a journey into something that is new and challenging for you... compassion for your journey is a must for me in my partners. I am not perfect, neither are they, we accept that and in that lies the perfection.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2011, 12:00 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

This board's posts come up in internet searches, so yes, you have to be careful. I think using aliases and initials keeps people pretty anonymous. I think quite often you can share about the basic issues at hand without necessarily including details that give everything away. Are your local poly friends members here?

The other option is messaging members privately. I think a whole lot of that goes on here, actually.

Just be careful with wording your posts and perhaps do not ever give away where you live, and no one will be the wiser, for the most part, I think.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2011, 02:39 AM
Feedhercandy's Avatar
Feedhercandy Feedhercandy is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 29

I think there are clear guidelines here, as there would be in any relationship types (ok, maybe this is a tad more sensitive, yes), and I don't think you have breached any topic that would cause someone discomfort, but you won't know unless you ask them, I guess.

I would imagine the rules would be (and please chime in everyone, this is a top of my head starter list):
- don't out anyone who doesn't want to be outed - so the suggestion of initials and keeping really obvious details out of the picture is a good one

- don't say anything about anyone that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying to their face

Finally, I do think some folks will be more sensitive than others. And as much as that should be respected, their needs / behaviours would not necessarily be generalizable.

Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:33 PM.