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  #231  
Old 05-25-2011, 08:46 PM
Honee Honee is offline
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Question How do you meet people?

I'm interested in the poly lifestyle, but I live in a bible belt...super conservative small town. Most of the time when I bring it up people have never heard of it. I want to see if a poly relationship would work for me. Advice please?!?
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  #232  
Old 05-25-2011, 09:15 PM
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Well, read around here, look in the tags, under search, for topics you are interested in. Maybe post a thread in the sections for dating, meetings, friends, and events toi see if there are others in your area... Look around, make yourself comfy. Welcome
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  #233  
Old 05-27-2011, 12:03 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honee View Post
I'm interested in the poly lifestyle, but I live in a bible belt...super conservative small town. Most of the time when I bring it up people have never heard of it. I want to see if a poly relationship would work for me. Advice please?!?
You COULD point out that "biblicly", poly was accepted.
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  #234  
Old 08-15-2011, 08:10 PM
yul yul is offline
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Default Meeting people in everyday life that would find poly acceptable a long shot?

I have another thread going about how some of the opposite sex people I meet in casual encounters soon give up contact since they know I am in a relationship.

I mean even just trying to maintain friendship with opposite sex is not that easy.

I DO have a few successes in that field but it's really a long shot...

Am I wrong? Should I be more patient? Should I approach this differently?

I do make it clear that I am allowed to have opposite sex friends within my
couple.

I am asking because I am trying to stay away from the usual bar scene and try to meet everyday girls around my workplace etc...

Thanks!
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  #235  
Old 08-15-2011, 08:55 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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My feeling is that if you are "looking" for people, it tends to not happen. I've had the same issues (and I'm a girl!), and I'm starting to just let it go and instead of looking for people to meet, I'm just trying to get out more, and get more involved with activities I love and eventually I figure I'll meet someone that way.

I see a lot of people come on the board who have opened up their relationship and are now "looking" for someone. And I truly believe that like with most things, you have to let it happen more organically.

You might try getting involved in the local poly scene just to be around like-minded folks and see how that goes...
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  #236  
Old 08-15-2011, 11:20 PM
Allstar Allstar is offline
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To be honest I am mono (openminded towards poly). Honestly when I talked this over with my guys at work. They seemed really into it. So I am willing to say you would have good luck in a military area. They are gone so much and usually willing to agree to the rules set by a partner. Most of them would welcome a poly relationship.
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  #237  
Old 08-15-2011, 11:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yul View Post
I do make it clear that I am allowed to have opposite sex friends within my couple.
This is an odd statement. If you are looking for friendships only, who would think you are not allowed to have friends? You're an adult, your own person, of course you can make friends! And if you want more than friendship, you just take it slowly and not try to force it.

Here's the way I see it: You are coming across like it's a project. That isn't going to be very appealing to anyone. Your approach must be putting people off because you seem to have an agenda, like collecting toys to have around you.

Whereas, if you just happen to meet someone and genuinely like them, and want to get to know them, you would simply strike up a conversation with them and show your interest. Let it happen organically, not like a big-deal project, which I am sure adds pressure to both you and your prospective friends. I think you need to relax a bit and not worry so much.
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  #238  
Old 08-16-2011, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
My feeling is that if you are "looking" for people, it tends to not happen.
It's weird that way, but not only is this a cliche truism, it's often very true.
I met my Faraway Sweetie just as I was stopping my search, and pretty soon we realized that we've got some real potential between us as Sweeties.
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  #239  
Old 08-16-2011, 01:58 AM
scotsnwry scotsnwry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
My feeling is that if you are "looking" for people, it tends to not happen.
Yep. My wife and I met when neither of us was looking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
...instead of looking for people to meet, I'm just trying to get out more, and get more involved with activities I love and eventually I figure I'll meet someone that way.
That's how I met my previous partner. And again, I wasn't looking. Somehow, I think people can tell when you're looking, and it puts some people off.
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  #240  
Old 08-16-2011, 02:32 AM
yul yul is offline
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Thanks for your replies!

In my life, if I would let things happen, I would still be single. I always put some effort in getting what I want...

I understand the "project" thing and I know it is not like that...even for outsiders.

Right now, I do not want anything too eccentric yet I like to get to meet the girls I like.

Many LTR's would not allow a man to do such a thing I am sure.

I am not "aiming" for anything yet I feel women become more distant from the time they know I have a girlfriend.

I know how to pick up girls. They are not afraid.

Just perhaps they don't know what to do with an outgoing guy that has a girlfriend?

Last edited by yul; 08-16-2011 at 02:35 AM.
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