The inevitable thirdness of being the third

[Ceoli]

Originally Posted by maca

It will happen for you Ceoli.When your least expecting it.My Father was 58 when He found someone that REALLY makes him happy.<hugs>

Honestly, if it took 22 years for it to happen, I'd probably chuck the idea of being poly out the window and just search for it in a monogamous context. I'm really not willing to wait that long.

[HappiestManAlive]

No promises, but if you ever vacation in Vegas...

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by Ceoli

Honestly, if it took 22 years for it to happen, I'd probably chuck the idea of being poly out the window and just search for it in a monogamous context. I'm really not willing to wait that long.

NO KIDDING-but Maca's dad isn't poly. It just took him 4 marriages, 3 divorces and all those years to find a woman who loved him and wasn't using him.
Maca's point was that you will find someone to be 1st with.

[Morningglory629]

Originally Posted by Fidelia

Why do you feel you have no power or right to address the issue(s) involved? You may be the "third" but this is your relationship, too, and you have the right and responsibility to be fully engaged in it. To be alternately allowed in/ pushed out is not fair, and will eventually doom the relationship.

It seems to me that you need healing in this situation, too, and that need deserves respect and attention too.

I wish you and your others peace and joy, however this works out.

Ok so if you do not want the relationship doomed what do you in the case of a shutdown if you are a secondary partner?

[LovingRadiance]

Mg-
Read my reply on KT's thread. It is pertinent to this question.
You can PM me also-I have thoughts.
But I have to go to the doctor at the moment.

More later.

[noob]

Ceoli,

I like "Feelings rarely follow directions." Did you make that up? Just curious, cuz I might steal it and want to know who to attribute it to