Reaching out to his primary when we're both new at this?

[nycindie]

In my newest relationship, which is long-distance and has only been going on for slightly less than two weeks, I have had contact with his wife. BUT, she initiated contact with me, after he and I were talking for about a week. I've written back to her. He has not been involved with any of it, except to say that he's happy we're in touch and that she likes me. I love the idea of having a metamour and being on good terms with her, but if he had asked ME to contact her first, to say thanks for putting him on the market, I would've felt very awkward and weird about it, especially so early on -- even if it wasn't long-distance. After only a few dates, I think it's presumptuous for him to say, "You should thank her for me, baby." LOL. I have sent her a message of appreciation, but only after she reached out first.