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Old 05-24-2011, 12:22 AM
orcasandowls orcasandowls is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Southern Tier, NY
Posts: 9

I think when people pull out the "it's abuse" card in situations like this, it's more about "morals" and thinking that the kids are exposed to sex, or group sex, and confusion about mother and father roles, etc., rather than food and clothing issues. It's like they assume that poly people just walk around naked all day and fuck like dogs at any moment.

There are members on this board who have dealt with issues like that. Do you all three live together?
We definitely aren't walking around naked and fucking like dogs at the drop of a hat. The kids see us being affectionate with each other, but it never goes beyond a quick peck when they're in the same room. As for confusion about who their parents are, I don't think they have any. They know who Mama and Dada are, and while they like me a whole lot, when they're unhappy or upset, it's Mama or Dada they cry out for, not Erin.

At the present moment, I have my own apartment, but I also have a room at C and D's house. My lease is up at the end of next month, at which point I'll be moving into their house full-time. C's parent's don't know about that yet, and I'm not looking forward to the moment when they find out.

I personally think her husband should stand up for her and his family directly to her parents. Those that tend to get all hung up on "moral issues" also tend to be heavily male centered (man is the head of the household, etc). Speak with the attorney, then have him do any and all future communications with her family. If it were me, I wouldn't let them anywhere near the kids unsupervised, if at all (but that's just me).
It's funny, C's parents are actually pretty liberal. They also have a history of alienating their children, they refused to go to C's sister's wedding because she was marrying a Republican. D and C have agreed that if her parents want to talk again, he'll insist on being present. If her parents try to bring things up to her when he isn't around, she's agreed to just walk away from the conversation.

You said you are in a triad as in all three of you are lovers or is it just you and C?
We're all lovers, I'm their mutual girlfriend. At this point, C thinks her parents may be under the impression that D and I are lovers and C is turning a blind eye to things. She's currently planning to write them a letter to clarify just what's going on here. I'm afraid that it might make things worse, but I understand her desire to clear up their misconceptions.

Walk away from the parents, yes. As for the threat of abuse allegations, I'd also let them know I'd be responding by filing suit for defamation should they make false allegations. The best response to bullies is to let them know that you'll beat them down if they try to keep bullying.
We'll keep this in mind. Thank you.

Really, everyone, thanks for the support and help here. We know some other poly people, but no one we know has come up against a situation like this.
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