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Old 05-21-2011, 07:06 PM
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SunsetDancer SunsetDancer is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2
Default In a Fuzzy State of Mind

So, I'd say I've put myself in a difficult situation but it feels more like I've accidentally landed there. That doesn't mean I'm not taking responsibility for where I am now and where I'm going... but I'm really not certain on where the going part is.

My husband and I have been open sexually since before we were married (we just married last fall). But, recently have leaned more toward the poly side. I expected this would help him more than me since he's more quiet and emotionally connected (he's very passive and vanilla. I'm not vanilla but I'm also very submissive in many ways... this has created issues in the past we thought we'd worked through). I'm more sex driven and logical. I always expected I might be jealous if he had an emotional relationship with someone else.

But... of course that's not the way things are starting to work themselves out. Recently I've started seeing another guy. My husband says he'd actually prefer I have one lover in addition to him as opposed to many, but as I connect with the new guy some issues are rising. I realize a lot of it is NRE, but there are issues arising again between my husband and I. The new guy is incredibly driven in work, grad school, his personal life, and is really easy to open up to. He's also a Dom (which was a pleasant surprise I figured out after we had vanilla conversations and had already felt a connection).

There's really so much more going on here too but I feel I could write a book on it already. I feel torn between my physical, cultural, and logical needs. And then there's the heart and I never know when to believe that.
"One's eyes cannot look upon the commonest of natural productions without finding food for a rambling fancy."
-Jane Austen
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