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  #11  
Old 05-19-2011, 03:52 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Gosh, vanilla heteros...


deep kissing
breast play
hand jobs
blow jobs
pussy eating
fingering
vaginal fisting
anal sex
dildos
vibrators
butt plugs
anal beads
sharing porn
spanking
dirty talk
sexting


There are also some intercourse positions which make the vagina tighter, such as her keeping her legs together and you straddling her while inserting your penis... If she really can't recover from a penis maybe one inch thicker than yours (length shouldn't matter), she should see her gyno.
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  #12  
Old 05-19-2011, 04:08 PM
saevuscorvax saevuscorvax is offline
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Wow.

You guys are missing the point. Again, this is not about sex. I am fully aware of the wide range of possibilities.

This is about a deeply hurtful, EMOTIONAL moment. It struck deep with both of us when we were most intimate, and has been very hard to shake off.
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  #13  
Old 05-19-2011, 04:19 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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What can we do to help you with your problem? You seem to have a good grasp on communication with your wife. That is what we would normally tell you to work on; but you already know that. Are you here to just vent your story? This is posted in the discussion-thread section. If you just want to write about your journey, not discuss or debate a topic, then you would do better by starting a thread in Life Stories and Blogs.

I just re-read your other posts, and the only thing I can suggest is a sex-therapist (alternative-friendly of course). You're not jealous, you're not threatened, you're not fixated on PIV sex, you tried your usual communication style, etc. etc. still not getting better and you're in a rut. That's what therapists are for - when you know you have a problem and you need help changing your approach to it.

Also, why not invite your wife and/or her other partner over here, and maybe they can give folks another angle to this situation?
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  #14  
Old 05-19-2011, 04:48 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saevuscorvax View Post
The hurt is coming from the physical inability to please one another. We are both very sexual, physical communicators, so it is almost as if our tongues have been cut out.
This is why alternatives are being suggested. Not because we don't get it, but because you're saying you can't fix the hurt if you can't be physically intimate (in your usual penis/vag way). We are suggesting other ways to be physically intimate.
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  #15  
Old 05-19-2011, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
maybe they can give folks another angle to this situation?
The angle of the dangle?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #16  
Old 05-19-2011, 05:51 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
The angle of the dangle?


Well, the way I look at it is this: If the universe is constantly exapanding, that would include penises and vaginas too.
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  #17  
Old 05-19-2011, 06:37 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saevuscorvax View Post
Right now the only thing I can think of is let time heal. Spend some time apart. Let us both sort of regroup before approaching each other again
More time apart seems, to me, to be the opposite of what you need.

I would suggest renegotiating your schedules so that you are not apart for longer, but together longer. Give a break to the amount of time spent with your other lovers ("secondaries") and rebuild your connection. Then very carefully divide your time so it isn't out of balance or left to be too undefined where your connection could become less solid. Perhaps spend lots of naked, sexy time together, but let the sexual tension build more by prolonging actually "doing it" (give each other sensual massages, etc.). If, after a while, you are not feeling as connected as you once were, maybe it is time to move on OR stop thinking of the relationship as "primary."
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-19-2011 at 06:42 PM.
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  #18  
Old 05-19-2011, 07:43 PM
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drtalon drtalon is offline
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Sex doesn't stay the same forever, if for no other reason than we change as we age. You have the choice to languish in the past and the specifics of how it used to be so pleasurable this or that way, or you can discover new possibilities for having fun sexy times together.

As for healing the emotional pain from an unexpected turn... how does one heal any emotional wound? Time, love, empathy, caring, support, sharing, and the desire to heal.
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  #19  
Old 05-19-2011, 08:11 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Well, the way I look at it is this: If the universe is constantly exapanding, that would include penises and vaginas too.
All part of the Big Bang, I suppose.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #20  
Old 05-19-2011, 08:32 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Having an incompatable penis and vagina would be extremely sad for me. I get where you are coming from with respect to the emotional disconnect. Not being able to experience the connection I do with "satisfying" vaginal intercourse...especially because she is being bored out by a massive dick... would make me loose all interest in sharing intimacy I would imagine. I'm all or nothing unless there is a medical reason besides massive stretching.


Good luck....I'll sit back and wait for the flames now
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