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  #11  
Old 05-13-2011, 12:37 AM
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gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Now this is just ME, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anything more until we had a chance to become friends first. That you guys have decided together to not just jump in feet first is a good thing, but it shouldn't keep you from meeting up with her and having a good weekend or such. It seems like there was a lot of preasure to make everything fit together right away.
Ditto what you said in the bold, however it seemed like she definitely expected a full on threesome when she comes down here and on top of that and her seeing other people, I think to him it was just a huge turnoff. Her coming here for a sex fest and then going back to her other guys was not cool to him.

I was cool with us just hanging out..cuddling, watching movies, checking out local things, going to dinner etc..Just getting to know one another and enjoy each other's company. He was cool with that too and that's what he was more thinking would happen. If something happened if the mood was right, cool... but it seemed like an expectation to her in our eyes and I know from past experiences he doesn't like any expectations until he's for sure about someone.
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  #12  
Old 05-13-2011, 07:06 PM
Interested32 Interested32 is offline
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Smile Relationships are never simple.

Knowing what you want and actually having are never easy. The first step is that you know what kind of relationship you want. The second step was actually putting both of you out there looking for it. Dating and finding a perfect match is never simple there are a lot of hit and misses. I think go into it and sharing your likes and dislikes and then start a friendship is a good start most of my relationships with male or female lasted longer when we are friends some even after the romantic relationship ended we stayed friends. But do not stop trying to find your third if you keep trying I believe that both of you will succeed and become a family.
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  #13  
Old 05-14-2011, 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Interested32 View Post
Knowing what you want and actually having are never easy. The first step is that you know what kind of relationship you want. The second step was actually putting both of you out there looking for it. Dating and finding a perfect match is never simple there are a lot of hit and misses. I think go into it and sharing your likes and dislikes and then start a friendship is a good start most of my relationships with male or female lasted longer when we are friends some even after the romantic relationship ended we stayed friends. But do not stop trying to find your third if you keep trying I believe that both of you will succeed and become a family.
We won't stop looking, we'll definitely keep trying. We're going to continue to look for our third, but we're going to probably find it easier to find separate partners of our own first. I have a date lined up for next week with a girl I've been talking to online for over a month who is moving back to our area this weekend. He seems to think she would be a good match for me. He's still looking and told me last night that he's talking to a girl he used to talk to a couple of years ago before we opened our relationship up, but now she lives up in Mt. Shasta which is SO far from us.

There was some drama with her, and we don't get along as she was extremely disrespectful and hurtful to me during a period of uncertainty with me and him. I, in turn was equally as disrespectful towards her, but today I sent her a message apologizing for my behavior years ago and hoped that we could forgive each other and perhaps talk in the future. I doubt she has the decency to write me back and both apologize to me in return and accept my apology, so I will be highly surprised if she does. At least I've made my ammends and I feel like the bigger person in doing so.

She can hold a grudge all she wants, but she had better not try to pull the shenanigans she did back then. The bottom line is respect, but I feel she may be too selfish to respect me and I'm not sure she wants to "share' him with me as she was instrumental in what almost became the end of us. She's 10 years younger than me, so I certainly hope she has matured in the last couple of years and learned how to respect other people, especially those that are very much loved by someone she would consider a relationship with.
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  #14  
Old 05-15-2011, 06:39 AM
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gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
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Hah! So, the girl I mentioned in my last post doesn't have the balls to write me back to decline my apology...instead, she goes straight to him and says that she couldn't believe I had the nerve to write her and she will never apologize to me for what she said in the past and she still feels all of the same things about me as she did then and that she would never be OK with me.. So, he told her that wouldn't work out since I'm not going anywhere and wished her the best of luck.

Another bad potential weeded out.

But, with another one out, someone else comes in. He actually met someone locally on OK Cupid over the last couple of days and tonight they had their first phone convo and then texted for a bit afterwards and made another phone date for tomorrow night. They've got a good deal in common and he had a cute twinkle in his eye and blushed cheeks after talking to her. It was really cute I absolutely adored how we were just hanging out watching a movie on Netflix, and in between his texts with her, he'd reach over and give me affection and groping.

It made me feel amazing and totally comfortable with it and I'm proud because previously I had some major jealousy issues over him texting or talking with potentials during what I considered "our" time, but it was different tonight.. I felt completely comfortable and encouraging of him pursuing this one and it turned me on that he was giving me the increased attention that he was while doing this.

I'm also talking to someone I met about a month ago on OKC. She's from my area and moving back this coming week, in fact she's been driving from Ohio since yesterday and has been calling me along the way to let me know she's alright. We're both really excited to meet and have made plans for dinner this week.

We're both so ready to just meet other people and we're getting closer to going on those actual first dates with someone. I wonder what sort of mix of emotions I'm going to feel when he goes on his first date and how he's going to feel when I go on mine. I still think there's going to be some jealousy, but I think we are both better prepared and at a point where we are ready to tackle that challenge and overcome it successfully.
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  #15  
Old 05-19-2011, 06:05 PM
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It's been a few days since I wrote, but I thought I'd give an update!

J is still talking to the one he met on OKC. I've tried to not be too intrusive, as it was bugging him in the past about my incessant questioning, so I've just let him tell me about her on his own. From what I hear, she seems like a lovely woman. A little younger than he is, and she is married..but her husband is in Afghanistan and also has a girlfriend. She has a 4 year old son and has been in an open relationship with her hubby for a couple of years now. Has dated men on and off, but no one serious. She's just looking to get out, have some fun and to get some much needed attention and love. Loves her hubby and has no intention of leaving him.

The only thing that strikes any concern is her feelings towards her hubby's girlfriend. She feels like she gets more attention than she does, which I totally feel for her on and I'm glad she met my bf, who is very affectionate and has enough of that to go around for me and for her. She's asked questions about me and knows that she's not a secret nor her to I.

I feel very good about her overall and told him I think he should definitely go for it. The one thing he really likes about her is that there has been no sexual flirting or sexual convo and no pressure to meet, though they would like to do so soon, and I totally am encouraging him to set a date up. She sounds to be the most promising match so far. I know he will treat her right and give her what she needs. I don't know that I could quite call it "compersion" just yet, but I feel so warm and fuzzy inside knowing that I'm a part of giving her something and someone that she needs in her life.

I went on my first date with a woman I met online, but in meeting, she's totally not the person I thought she was and has a lot of mental issues that she needs to sort through. I'll definitely be a friend to her, but she's too complicated for me. I've got another date set up this weekend with another woman I met online who is local, and I've been talking to for over a month, so I'm excited to see how we click in person.

Him and I discussed everything last night as we haven't really talked "poly" in several days and hearing his reasonings and feelings as to why he wants us to do this really reaffirmed my reasons and feelings too. We just want to meet new people and it's so exciting just getting to know someone else on a different level than we know one another. He said that the intial spark only lasts so long and what we have could never be replaced by anyone else and this isn't about replacing one another, yet enhancing our relationship by rediscovering ourselves and appreciating what we already have more than we have been.

I totally laughed when he said "We still have that spark, and it's been re-ignited by this passion for finding other partners, but what woman is going to be as comfortable smelling my farts like you have for 6 years? That's a comfortableness that I don't think I'll ever find with anyone"

LMAO.. I laughed SO hard at that. Then we just cuddled..made dinner, watched a movie and had a great night.

I'm totally loving what this is doing for us so far We're both so happy to be meeting other people and a year ago, I never thought I'd be in this mindframe.
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