Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-18-2011, 06:21 PM
pete pete is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 1
Default talking about it

After a lot of working up to the topic, I talked to the wife of 35 years and explained the feelings I had. It went pretty good.
Gawd how I care for her and want her to understand!
Trying to understand it my self.
Then I started doing research and was shocked at how poly feelings are just what I was telling her how I felt. Open and honest relationships among and between adults. Sex as "cheating" does not fit.
I'm not having sex with anyone other than with my wife -- and she and I enjoy it at least once almost every day. Nor is there necessarily another particular woman I'm attracted to, although there have been some arousing moments that felt perfectly right.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-18-2011, 06:38 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Welcome Pete,

Well, the statistics are in Guess what ?

We are not naturally a monogamous species.

Ok - so now, after the 'enlightenment', what next ?

GS
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-18-2011, 09:36 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
We are not naturally a monogamous species.
Well the jury is out on that I think. I don't think the monogamous members here would agree

Welcome and invite your wife! This is an excellent resource for people starting out.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-19-2011, 03:09 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Well the jury is out on that I think. I don't think the monogamous members here would agree

.
Some artists paint all humanity with the same color of thier own internal workings...usually because they can't imagine anything different from themselves. That's just as natural as monogamy or non-monogamy
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-19-2011, 03:37 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,222
Default

GS is talking about natural as opposed to enculturated. Monogamy is taught.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-19-2011, 05:02 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
GS is talking about natural as opposed to enculturated. Monogamy is taught.
I guess the natural animals that are monogamous go to some pretty fancy schools then

errr...sorry for the hijack...I'm done
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-19-2011, 01:54 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redpepper
Well the jury is out on that I think. I don't think the monogamous members here would agree
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Some artists paint all humanity with the same color of thier own internal workings...usually because they can't imagine anything different from themselves. That's just as natural as monogamy or non-monogamy
......................
I guess the natural animals that are monogamous go to some pretty fancy schools then

errr...sorry for the hijack...I'm done
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie
GS is talking about natural as opposed to enculturated. Monogamy is taught.
Yes - potential worthwhile hijack ! I don't know if we have a thread focused on this or not. If not maybe we should. It's a VERY important topic/concept.

But yes, although it is a broad, sweeping generalization, the jury is in fact "IN" from an overall perspective. And of course there are always exceptions to any general rule but an exception doesn't make a rule.

If anyone is interested in going there - we should ?

GS
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-19-2011, 02:45 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Yes - potential worthwhile hijack ! I don't know if we have a thread focused on this or not.
I'm pretty sure we do.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-19-2011, 02:55 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm pretty sure we do.
Here it is!

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...nature+nurture
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-19-2011, 03:00 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,622
Default

In cultures where food, belongings and child rearing are shared, sex is shared amongst the group. In societies where there is more of a sense of ownership, hoarding and individuality, men own their wives and have a sense of possession of their wives' vaginas. They also see their offspring as their possessions. These cultures are polygynous (or "monogamous" with much cheating). Men who sleep around and cheat and pay for prostitutes are seen as studs. Women who sleep around or are paid as sex workers are seen as sluts, fallen women, depraved and hysterical. Homosexual men are seen as weak, and lesbians are invisible.

It seems to me, even though our current culture is not hunter/gatherer or horticultural, current feminist thought, and reliable birth control allows for a return to women being autonomous and feeling a sense of entitlement to make the choice whom to fuck.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:53 PM.