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  #211  
Old 05-15-2011, 10:36 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Compersion!! Grieving

Not only am I learning a new way to live and love, I'm learning a new language.

My Brother in Law (who's Poly) Just told me about this. I was discussing how I felt about his sister-my wife finally finding a.....Paramour? (dunno if that's the right word.) I'm happy for her, excited in fact that we...she actually made it happen. Not bad for a Mono guy 3 months into this.

On the other side...
My wee little cat of 18 yrs has gone deaf,and has difficulty walking. I am experiencing such a profound sense of sadness knowing that his life is coming to a close that I can't stop crying. I'm taking him to the vet next week to see if there's anything we can do to make him more comfortable.

It's important for me to know that the grief/sadness isn't poly connected. It would be easy to think or mistake my sadness over Tom as sadness for this Poly experience, when they are not in fact related. because of all the work you fine folks have had me do over these 3 months I'm starting to get my...stuff sorted out. Untangling all of these emotional threads is a damn sight harder then I expected, but the results have been awe inspiring.

Still have lots to do, but I'm getting there.

Freetime

P.S. Where exactly is "There" anyway?

Last edited by Freetime; 05-15-2011 at 11:09 PM.
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  #212  
Old 05-15-2011, 10:55 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by Freetime View Post

P.S. Where exactly is "There" anyway?
Enlightenment? Self-awareness? Being in the Now, and sucking all the goodness out of life like a big juicy peach?
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  #213  
Old 05-15-2011, 11:29 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
On the other side...
My wee little cat of 18 yrs has gone deaf,and has difficulty walking. I am experiencing such a profound sense of sadness knowing that his life is coming to a close that I can't stop crying. I'm taking him to the vet next week to see if there's anything we can do to make him more comfortable.
Aww, a couple of years ago, my dear old almost toothless cat had reached the age of 20, with a liver problem, and was losing his sight as well as control of his hind legs. My vet at the Humane Society, who was the best vet I ever could've asked for, gave us some nutritional supplements to see if he would perk up. He reminded me that most cats in the "wild" only live to six or seven years -- so I had to accept that I had given him a long and happy life, but that it was time to let him go. I lingered a bit on that decision, and he did seem to feel better with the supplements, but when he collapsed one day, we knew it was time. The vet had said, "you don't want to come home and find him having a seizure; better to put him to sleep while he's still comfortable." So, we did. I held him in my arms as he drifted off with his little tongue sticking out. That cat was a very special, intuitive little creature and had been with me through thick and thin. I stayed in bed and sobbed hard for three days straight, which the vet also told me I would do. Just like he predicted, after three days, I felt so much better. You will get through it.
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  #214  
Old 05-15-2011, 11:34 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Aw, I have a bunch of cats that are getting old. Five of them died in the past 2 years, 3 of them at home, 2 I took to the vet. At least you gave it a good life.
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  #215  
Old 05-16-2011, 01:07 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Over the years there has been much that I wish I could have given my wife, bigger house, nicer car, more money, a life of ease and comfort. But I haven't.

But this? A chance to have a new love, a new intimate life experience, an adventure of a life time? Yes, yes that I can do.



I love you T.

be well my friends.

Freetime.
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  #216  
Old 05-16-2011, 03:02 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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P.S. Where exactly is "There" anyway?
Contentment, normalcy, more love, abundant love and joy, compersion, self love, being able to give empathetically, and if you wish it, more chosen family.
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  #217  
Old 05-16-2011, 03:03 AM
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sucking all the goodness out of life like a big juicy peach?
I love this! It isn't a question to me, it is! *steal* for my fb status update.
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  #218  
Old 05-16-2011, 12:37 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I love this! It isn't a question to me, it is! *steal* for my fb status update.
Thief!

On my okc profile, I say, "I live juicy," and that's what I mean.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #219  
Old 05-16-2011, 07:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Ha! An old boyfriend used to call me juicy, and he meant that I was zesty, vibrant, lush, personality-wise, that kind of thing. For a long time when I first made my OKC profile, I had in it, "I have been called juicy, blabla, blabla..." But it seemed that every creep out there was zeroing in on that word and asking me how juicy I am... er, physically. So, I changed it to say I've been told I have a "juicy personality." Fucking pervs.
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  #220  
Old 05-19-2011, 09:08 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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So, how's everything going, Freetime?
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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