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Old 05-14-2011, 05:22 PM
Alan1969yes Alan1969yes is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 6
Default Questions for "the Group"

Thanks guys for your opinions and your support.

Latest updates:

Vixen has accepted that she doesn’t love her husband (Michelangelo) as much as she thought she did. Vixen will probably break up with Michelangelo but I have not asked her to do this, and in fact I am saddened by this turn of events.

Vixen & I love each other. I don’t want to be the source of a breakup between Vixen and Michelangelo, but I think my presence has made Vixen feel that she has been living her life unconsciously for quite some time . . . anyhoo . . . Michelangelo is ultimately Vixens decision . . .

Vixen doesn’t really have the time to devote to me in the immediate future (maybe only once a fortnight) & is therefore happy for me to also be with Red, to “make sure I don’t get too lonely”. Vixen says she sees Red as her “agent” in looking after me while she, Vixen, cannot. But Vixen tells me that she doesn’t see this as a “forever” arrangement and that she is not poly, and will eventually want me to give Red up, once she (Vixen) can devote more time to me.

I have explained to Vixen that I actually have feelings for Red and that I need to “come out” to Red about my wish to pursue my feelings with Vixen. Now what Red makes of all that, will be another story!

And if Red dumps me (a likelihood!), what happens then! In Vixen's world, would I find a new “agent”? I have put this to Vixen but we haven’t come up with a solution yet.

I have tried to use neutral language here, but I have my own thoughts and feelings on (a) what Vixen has said to me about eventually giving up Red, and (b) about the “agency” arrangement, but I would be interested to see what “the group” says about these 2 issues before I express myself . . .

Remember, Vixen is also reading this, so please be gentle on us both . . .
All knowledge is an illusion
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