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Old 05-14-2011, 04:26 PM
LuvXX LuvXX is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4
Default More in love with secondary right now

Hello - Is this typical? I'm new to polyamory. I've been married to my husband for 8 years and over the years had hinted and playfully talked about having threesomes but we never seriously discussed it. (I had a threesome with a former boyfriend years ago, and we ended up with a kind of open relationship where I was allowed to make out with people and he liked to hear about it when I got home.) Last year, my husband met someone who revealed that he and his wife were swingers and it got my husband thinking that maybe we could do something like that. We opened our marriage but he wasn't immediately interested in pursuing anything at the time. My sex drive far exceeds his. I ended up finding a man on a married-dating site who is also in an open marriage, we hit it off immediately online, exchanged emails for weeks before meeting, and the first time we met was heavenly. The sex was perfect. I had never experienced anything like it before and I've been with plenty of men. He satisfied me on a totally new level. And it was more than sex, there's an emotional connection and we fit together perfectly physically and mentally. It was surreal. We still exchanged 20+ emails a day afterwards describing our feelings and we are both on the same page. We got together again and spent 8 wonderful hours in bed together kissing, having sex (I had three mindblowing orgasms and he had two mindblowing orgasms - he feels the same about the sex surpassing anything he's experienced), laughing, cuddling, touching, looking each other in the eye and smiling and talking about all of the ways we're so similar. Bonding. Having a real emotional connection. When we left the hotel room to go home, we stood outside my car for an hour holding each other, kissing, touching, and trying but not wanting to say goodbye. We both feel we're falling in love and are still emailing each other 20+ times a day. It's crazy. It's maddening. Everything with this man is so perfect, I don't feel aroused by my husband anymore. I don't feel in love with him and realize I haven't felt in love for a while and our sex was not great but this certainly isn't helping with that, it's compounding just how bad it is. I tried to keep this "secondary" relationship in perspective. I don't know what to do. It just is not secondary to me.
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lost desire for spouse, nre

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