Morningglory's Awakening

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by Morningglory629

And thanks for the commendation even if it reads like a back-handed one. It may be your style of writing. I am sure you didn't mean for that tone. I thank you for your time in reading our stories. It does mean something that you are interested in our story and giving advice and support to any one of us. Thanks.

Oh, dear - I think it might seem back-handed just because my own personal convictions were mixed into my response. I didn't mean to suggest that everything I personally could or couldn't live with was describing everything about your situation. For me, I'd be willing to completely give up a secondary relationship (and I know the terms secondary and primary are rather inadequate - I personally don't like a hierarchical viewpoint all that much), not just for a few weeks or months, if I knew the man's marriage was falling apart and the wife was in pain. Not that it would be my fault (or yours, in your situation) -- it is, I think, all about the foundation being strong enough to handle additional, multiple relationships, more than the particulars of those additional relationships themselves - but I would know my presence is a factor and I just couldn't live with it. I would think that if it's meant to be for me to love a man who is married, whether poly or not, that it would happen in its own time frame and no matter how long it took for he and his wife to resolve things. Yes, I could live with years of stepping back or giving it up altogether.

I am the type of person that always feels that if something goes wrong, it's my fault, so I'm super sensitive to other people's pain and will always take a step back if I play any possible part in it (not cause it - I think everyone is responsible for their own feelings). My opinion is a reaction to reading your post, and the blogs, but it is also specific to me, because I know I would be extremely uncomfortable in a situation such as yours for very long at all. I know your own blog is recent, but you have contributed to KT's which I've read completely, and other threads. Reading these blogs is such a learning experience. Writing mine helps me so much as well.

I know nobody can really get everything right all the time. Poly seems to be a huge learning experience for so many reasons. Yes, I think it is commendable that you are stepping back! And yes, I think it's overdue and if it were me, I would have done it a long time ago, no matter what KT or 2Rings said -- but that's just me. I'm not sure setting any time frame is always going to be workable when it comes to affairs of the heart, as oftentimes patience is the most important thing that is required. But it is good to know that you are choosing this path and that all of you are in this place of wanting healing now.

[Morningglory629]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

"this is what we want, we love each other, so deal with it"

This is the impression that I have always got, especially from 2Rings. Not saying that this is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH - but it IS the IMPRESSION I got.

MG, although you did start your blog well after KT's was already established, you have made your points in other threads and have been anything but silent throughout the duration of your membership with this forum. So, saying that we only had KT's side of the story up to now just doesn't fly.

I am sure your meeting with KT will go well. The two of you seem to be making the efforts required to achieve the goals you both want.

It is a reality to deal with. Absolutely. Is it not? However in my statement about the blog. Mine is recent and though I have contributed on other threads, you never got a daily clip of my life. My feelings or my perspective on every detail of our days. It just hasn't been here. I never said I was silent. I said you do not know what I do...or think I contribute because for the most part I don't give you a play by play. But your opinion is going to be your opinion.
And thanks for the acknowledgement.

[Morningglory629]

So a very good meeting with KT yesterday and she introduced me to a drink that tasted like a grape popsicle, interesting. She seems to be generally positive. Grateful for that...winking to the gods! Also their daughter shadowed my daughter today at school. Happy interactions last two days.

[ray]

Hmmm, I'm not sure that I like grape popsicles but that sounds like an interesting drink. When I was wee, grape soda was my favorite.

Glad to hear things are going well right now. Happy moments are always welcome.

[Morningglory629]

Originally Posted by ray

Hmmm, I'm not sure that I like grape popsicles but that sounds like an interesting drink. When I was wee, grape soda was my favorite.

Glad to hear things are going well right now. Happy moments are always welcome.

Yes they are!!! Yeah it was made with grape vodka (which I did not know existed) and diet coke...I am sure you could use regular cola too, but KT likes Diet so that is how I tried it.
Thanks Ray for the kind wishes!

[Morningglory629]

Alot going on in my life...outside of poly stuff. Seems things are perpetually in crisis mode somewhere for me. Had a good talk with 2rings lastnight that eventually calmed my anxiety about these other happenings- although prior to that I was a raving maniac about an annoying occurence that was just the straw breaking the camels back.

There is a problem I need to address with myself, and him. Rolling it around in my head before I put it out there. But he works really hard for both of us. This I know.

KT ok'd a meeting with his mom! Very excited and grateful. Thank you KT it was pretty special for me. We are supposed to go and do something together, the three of us this week. Not sure if it is just cook dinner and hang out, or actually go out. I prefer the former. We'll see. Still on the break of sorts one on one-hoping that changes soon.

Ahhhh. Control issue rearing its ugly head!

[Morningglory629]

Looking forward to this weekend and spending some time, albeit platonic time, with 2rings AND KT on Friday. May actually make it to that derby I have been talking about for months. If I can swing the day off looks like the three of us may try to go watch the Demons this Saturday too! Hope it turns out and I get to see what the hell yinz have been talking about on these threads!
Is there any specific fan protocol I should know...like attire etc?

[Morningglory629]

Super excited! Had a great cookout dinner with 2rings and KT and their children. My middle girl tagged along as well. I loved making dinner with them. Their son pitched wiffle balls to me and my daughter. 2rings pitched to his son. We had a few laughs, hung out by the firepit, made s'mores and ended the evening watching The Hangover. It was a really lovely night. Breathing easy today, feeling very lucky. It warmed my heart to see them both interact with one of MY babies. I hope the feeling was mutual. Goodnight all! Resting up for my first ever experience at a roller derby bout tomorrow night!

[bitterborn]

Sounds like an absolutely wonderful day, happy to see that things are becoming more comfortable.

[TruckerPete]

I thought you weren't seeing 2Rings for seven weeks while they worked on themselves?

Not criticizing, just wondering if something changed.