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  #221  
Old 05-01-2011, 07:09 PM
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Well, I understand a unicorn to be the stereotypical "hot bi babe," and considered a mythical creature because she would have to fall in love with the male and female in an already established couple -- and that would be difficult to find. Hence the term "unicorn," right? It wouldn't be all that difficult to find a single guy who wanted to be involved with two women, so if that is what jesuspants is looking for, he would hardly be called a unicorn. Such a desire would not be much of a rarity!

However, all we know is that jesuspants is male and looking for a relationship with two other people. We don't know his orientation, and whether he's looking for two straight women to service him, two bi women to be with each other and him, or two gay men, or a male-female couple. If we did, it might help us in offering feedback.
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2011 at 07:12 PM.
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  #222  
Old 05-01-2011, 09:08 PM
Jesuspants789 Jesuspants789 is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
don't know his orientation, and whether he's looking for two straight women to service him, two bi women to be with each other and him, or two gay men, or a male-female couple. If we did, it might help us in offering feedback.
I guess I should of said that I was looking for a male-female couple. So I guess that would make me bi...or a male unicorn? Not real sure how that term apples.
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  #223  
Old 05-02-2011, 08:52 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Don't sweat over the definitions - sometimes I think it would be useful to have a special word to designate a single looking for a triad that would carry less 'baggage' than unicorn, but we make do.

So now, hit the poly groups in your area. Try on-line dating if that feels comfortable (OkCupid is nice, I don't have experience with other sites). You might want to check out if there are any bi organizations in your area, just in case. If you already belong to a 'subculture', like the kink community, Neo-Pagans, gaming/SF, what have you, keep your eyes open while socializing in those circles. For me, meeting people through other people works best. Even coming out to a select few trustees and telling them what you are interested in might reap unexpected benefits.

(Just for the sake of illustrative purposes, I've met one partner through gaming, two through the local poly scene, both off and on-line, and two others through existing partners. So pure luck plays a large role in finding compatible couples/individuals.)
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  #224  
Old 05-10-2011, 11:17 PM
zephyr23 zephyr23 is offline
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Unhappy Heart breaking...

Anyone have any advice on how to find like minded people?..seems so hard to find a girl who wants a couple for anything more than sex..we want a real relationship with a girl..getting frustrated..on the verge of giving up on a polyamory lifestyle before it even starts ...advice? thanks
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  #225  
Old 05-10-2011, 11:19 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by zephyr23 View Post
Anyone have any advice on how to find like minded people?..seems so hard to find a girl who wants a couple for anything more than sex..we want a real relationship with a girl..getting frustrated..on the verge of giving up on a polyamory lifestyle before it even starts ...advice? thanks
Are you honest with them about wanting a relationship more than fucking?

Also, and this does seem to happen a lot with poly people. How many people did you date before you found your partner? Not everyone you find is going to be relationship interested/worthy. There HAS to be some expectation of trial and error. Not everyone is compatible.

You should be happy you are finding people, you have a chance how many times do we read about people who can't even find interested parties.
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  #226  
Old 05-10-2011, 11:25 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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If you're in this because you want a "lifestyle" then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. It's just like when monogamous people get married because they are in a hurry to be married. The point is - polyamory is about being able to love more than one partner, not getting more partners so that you can have a "polyamory lifestyle".
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  #227  
Old 05-10-2011, 11:46 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Maybe you could open up the options. A couple is rather daunting for a single person. Usually triads are made, not found. Perhaps you should try dating on your own and just have in mind that it might be an option later on.

I would also get involved with your local poly community. If there isn't one, create it. Add it to your dating profiles that you are interested in meeting like minded people just to have community around you and make new friends. Then organize an event to meet everyone that responds. That way you get to make new friends and see what comes out of it. Quite often relationship success comes not from dating sites, but from having close friends that turn into something more.
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  #228  
Old 05-11-2011, 12:07 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Usually triads are made, not found.
I think you mean "found, not made" but don't let me put words in your mouth.
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  #229  
Old 05-11-2011, 11:23 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
how many times do we read about people who can't even find interested parties.
true true.
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  #230  
Old 05-12-2011, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I think you mean "found, not made" but don't let me put words in your mouth.
yes, yes that is what I meant... thank you.
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approaching someone, asking people out, dating, finding someone, first time, flirting, married and dating, meet ups, meeting new partners, meeting people, okc, online dating, poly dating, primary, primary/secondary, secondary, sex, small town, solo, third partner, thirds

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