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Old 05-08-2009, 05:15 AM
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nikkiana nikkiana is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Polyamory has given me the opportunity to share the most amazing Lover I could ever have imagined! Without it I would not have found someone I trust more than any other person...I mean that. Redpepper is my best friend, my confident, my partner in exploration and passion. I don't have to be polyamorous to enjoy it and respect those that can share in a love style that demands more communication and honesty than I ever experienced in a monogamous relationship. Not easy...at first. It does get easier though with the right people involved. I am incredibly fortunate!!
This brings up a good point in my mind... As a culture, I think often times open, direct communication isn't something that's valued as an asset. To a degree, I think we've been conditioned to communicate indirectly, and not make waves for fear of upsetting someone.... and sadly, I think this is often most apparent in strictly monogamous relationships. I'm not saying this to knock monogamy in any way, I think it's a perfectly valid choice and can be very rewarding as well. I frequent several forums where the members are typically monogamous and relationship questions are often asked, and 90% of the time it seems like I'm suggesting open communication about whatever the issue is... It simply shocks me that people would hop on a message board to whine and then not have it even occur to them to sit down and talk to their partner when the issue is difficult or not comfortable.

That said, I had a great nugget of truth given to me by a more experienced poly friend that perhaps should be passed on to anyone who's new... Don't beat yourself up over feeling awkward or jealous or like you're not ready for something yet... By trying to live this lifestyle, you're bucking years and years worth of social conditioning that says that often runs contrary. Give yourself some credit, that's hard work!
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