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  #161  
Old 05-05-2011, 04:31 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Oh, Hugs and sending lots of get well vibes.
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  #162  
Old 05-05-2011, 01:24 PM
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How are things going with GG? Still "taking a break?"
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #163  
Old 05-05-2011, 01:37 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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I've not added anything here recently. But I'm reading it whenever I log in and thinking of you all. Tell SourPea that somebody in Germany sends her a get-well
hug


Hey! You too!
hug
(Had to take 2 if the smileys off of your hug, because the moderation believes in "Moderation in all things"... but you know that they're there, really, don't you?)
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- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
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- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
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I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #164  
Old 05-05-2011, 06:20 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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HAHAH, I get annoywed with the limit on smiley's too.

Yes, I know they are there.


She's feeling much better even though the swelling hasn't reduced. I feel like crud still and now the Sweet Pea is going down too. SO, taking him to the dr today.

GG is doing good. Yes, we're still taking a break. He has this week off of work and he's helped a lot with getting boxes sorted and off to the thrift stores etc. He's been making me tea and cooking meals and all the wonderful lovey things that make you feel well-cared for ESPECIALLY when you feel like shit.

I wish it were easier for Maca to see what a great combination they make in getting things done and taking care of the family.

They are both great at the parts they do and they do different things, which means that together, they cover a LOT of ground....
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  #165  
Old 05-05-2011, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
HAHAH, I get annoywed with the limit on smiley's too.

Yes, I know they are there.

She's feeling much better even though the swelling hasn't reduced. I feel like crud still and now the Sweet Pea is going down too. SO, taking him to the dr today.

GG is doing good. Yes, we're still taking a break. He has this week off of work and he's helped a lot with getting boxes sorted and off to the thrift stores etc. He's been making me tea and cooking meals and all the wonderful lovey things that make you feel well-cared for ESPECIALLY when you feel like shit.

I wish it were easier for Maca to see what a great combination they make in getting things done and taking care of the family.

They are both great at the parts they do and they do different things, which means that together, they cover a LOT of ground....
Does SweetPea accept hugs from strange men? (They don't come much stranger than me!)

Nice to know that you're being cherished.

I don't know if you've dealt with this much - at least not recently - but how does GG feel about Maca
a) in general?
b) since Maca moved out?
c) since Maca has been making friendly overtures again (eating together / cooking for each other)?

Remaining 4 smileys to be divided amongst GG, Maca, and the rest of the Peas... and not forgetting Mimi!!!

Hey! That's not fair! I had to erase the 3 smileys from your quote to be allowed my quota...
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #166  
Old 05-08-2011, 02:55 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Sweetpea would hug anyone, he's a... well polyfriend kind of person.
Sourpea on the other hand (the baby) is as antisocial as they come. She's an oddball in this family.

Quote:
I don't know if you've dealt with this much - at least not recently - but how does GG feel about Maca
a) in general?
b) since Maca moved out?
c) since Maca has been making friendly overtures again (eating together / cooking for each other)?
GG is about the most easy-going person you could meet. I will tell him to feel free to correct me if I'm wrong (he rarely looks on here, but if I tell him to he will).
But, here's my understanding of the answer to your questions.

GG generally likes Maca, but feels like he has to walk on eggshells around him due to the moodswings. So, he's awkwardly quiet around Maca-IF I'm around. If you remove me from the picture, he's fine. They have some opposites in their personality, Maca is much a "guy's guy"-he likes to fish and hunt, outdoorsy type. GG is NOT an outdoorsy type. He likes to walk and he's a people watcher. GG is a city-boy at heart, but Maca is a country-boy at heart.

On the otherhand, they have similar tastes in women (go figure) and both love to look at the ladies. GG LOVES music and so the music that Maca likes to listen to-GG does as well, because it's music.
They both adore the kids.
They work well together. Maca is more a "natural leader" or "boss" and GG prefers to follow someone else's lead, so they make a comfortable team when doing projects.

In regards to moving out-GG thinks it's overkill in some ways. He feels like somehow Maca needs to come to grips within himself about what Maca wants most-to be with the family or no. Then just follow that decision through. That's very much how GG operates, but, it's not how Maca operates, and GG respects that Maca has to do things his own way-even though it's not what GG would do. He just throws up his hands with a "god I hope this works out soon-I don't know how to help" heart.

GG appreciates the friendly overtures. He gets nervous about when it will explode again, because he really doesn't enjoy holding me when I'm sobbing. I imagine it's pretty much a consensus that it's preferable to hold a happy woman than a heartbroken one.
But, he (much like me) can't help but hope that THIS TIME is THE TIME that real progress is being made towards them creating a real friendship and our familiy finally being a securely attached family.

It's not a rare occurrence for GG to talk to me about missing Maca. We all miss him. It's always easier when he's being friendly with everyone. It's hard to love someone and watch them fling themself as far from you and the rest of those that they (and you) love as they can.
As difficult as it is for Maca to accept when he's emotionally distraught-GG does love Maca as well. It's not a romantic love-but that is such a small aspect of love, and he does have a great love for Maca.
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  #167  
Old 05-08-2011, 03:02 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Yesterday I went to town with GG and Sourpea. Maca had a SHITTY day at work. We bought him a to-go lunch and he met us at the park.

He was struggling with jealousy, anxiety, frustration. His jealousy is always heightened when shit goes awry in his work.

I tried to be loving, supportive, understanding- but not crawl away into the bushes to hide the "real me".

He took Sourpea home with him and let GG and I spend a couple hours alone together. Later, he worked on the tile in our entry and then I spent the night with him. It proved to be a smooth transition from insecurity, to comfortable companionship-without me "choosing" him over GG. I breathed a small sigh of relief as I fell asleep curled up in his strong arms.

Today-was just a great day. I got up early and made Maca breakfast, cleaned his dishes, brushed my teeth & hair, washed my face and got dressed. We headed back to the house and he finished the tile. I woke up GG, got the laundry off the lines, put new laundry out on the lines, did the other household chores while GG made breakfast for himself and Sourpea.

Then we all headed into town to spend a couple hours at the May Faire with Maca's lady friend.

Now, we sit in Maca's little livingroom having just eaten a KICK ASS dinner that we worked together to make. The guys are watching a movie as I type. The boys are watching with the guys and Sourpea is asleep in Maca's bed.

It's not that we've "solved" our issues. But, we've found a small reprieve, a place where we can be peaceful and friendly.



XO
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  #168  
Old 05-08-2011, 01:56 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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I'm glad things are going well .

It sounds like the two of you get along better when you don't share an abode.

(Deja Vu, have I said this already?)

There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes married people DO discover that it's better, for them in their circumstances, to have separate residences so they each have a separate place to go to for whatever reason.

Lots of hugs and healing thoughts for everyone.

That sucks about the grandbaby . I think my mom would have felt the urge to throttle me if I had made that sort of decision since my guys are the only natural grands & will remain the onlys. She had wanted grands almost since I first started having sex, lol, so removing the option to see them when she wanted would have killed her.
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  #169  
Old 05-09-2011, 10:37 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Yeah, it looks like the living-in-different-houses solution might be more comfortable - and healthier - for all of you. Has Maca found anything closer to the rest of you?

Read the book "Woman On The Edge Of Time" by Marge Piercy: My favourite adult novel of all time. (And it has been for over 30 years now.) It describes a society in which every adult has their own house - so that you can share that space with others if and when you want to, but aren't obliged to be next to somebody when you're not in the mood. (The children all live in a big children's house, but most adults in the society spend lots of time with the children - some more than others and not only with "their own" children.)

Since you've already considered buying a piece of land together and building on it, I hope that this dream comes true for you.

"There's nothing wrong with building castles in the air, as long as you use them to create foundations for reality."
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #170  
Old 05-09-2011, 03:10 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
It sounds like the two of you get along better when you don't share an abode.

(Deja Vu, have I said this already?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFarFromRight View Post
Yeah, it looks like the living-in-different-houses solution might be more comfortable - and healthier - for all of you.
Yep, I said the same thing back in March! Can I get credit for it? It is something works for many folks - I've met a few couples that are really happy with dual homes.
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