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Old 05-06-2011, 11:53 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I guess that depends on how strictly you are monogamous. Even when I wasn't poly I was open. By that i mean open in the sense of available to date. Looking back, and reading endless threads on here, I have been very actively dating for ten years. I hung out and went out with girls often. Sometimes dinner, sometimes bars etc. Being strictly monogamous would limit that ability to .. Well.. Talk, flirt, and be me. Purely monogamous I am not.

Monogamy in the sense of fidelity. I have done that a few times, for years at a time. It wouldn't kill me to do it again if I had to. To be honest, I am not even sure how poly I am. I am not a big lover of loving everyone. My ability to love is limited moreso than most poly people. I freely love, but its very.. Vry limited. I have said I love you to only a few people in my life.. And I kind of like it that way haha

You are talking in a lot of absolutes. I can't be poly because of this, monogamy is easier because of this etc. society says this etc

There are no absolutes. Not every poly relationship looks the same, not every structure feels the same, not every society embraces it the same way. Everyone has a choice to do as they see fit, but make it your choice to not be poly... Don't use every bit of your environment around you as a reason. If you love this guy and can commit and won't feel like you lost a piece of yourself (see the use of the Kinsey scale example, it's s great way to think of it) Than by all means, be happily monogamous. My parents did it for 20ish years until my dad died.

In AA they talk a lot about doing things for yourself. Being selfish in regards to your need to be sober. If you become monogamous because of everything around you, but still feel poly. You will end up growing resentful of something/someone. Ensure this is right for you, society and people be damned. also and lastly. If you commit to this guy and you are capable of poly. And find yourself someone to love. How fair is that going to be to your lover? You might find yourself in a situation that is hard to dig out of.

That's my 2 cents haha

Ari
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