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Old 05-06-2011, 06:14 AM
Honestheart's Avatar
Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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Unhappy Chooseing monogamy...easy way out

Please don't flame me for what i'm goign to admit. but has anybody else gone thru this? what did you do? and also, please comment on your opinion of what i will say about society and poly...
Some thing has been on my heart, and as honest as i am i've asked myself some hard questions because of it so here goes....
I was monogamous, dated a poly couple. after leaveing the couple realised... i think i am poly and i struggled with that for some time. How could i be poly? why do i think i'm poly? how does that effect my faith? my church? my social life? my realtionahip possibilities? would i truely have been happy as a secondary again? what if i were a primary instead?
and one thing I just couldnt get over...being poly there are so very many hurdles to get over. society makes it so hard to be different... hell society even makes it illegal in some places.
add to that my previous poly realtionship had sum serious hurdles to over come between we three if ever we could be together...
and i just... i caved. i was offered the golden apple of monogamy with another fellow and i took it and ran. turned my back on poly..because...
monogamy was easier.
seriosly. that was it. i went, i wont have to deal with any of the problems fro society, i will have none of the complications of figureing out shareing or how to be blended family. i will have none of those basic poly complications we all have to work though (and can, i might add). i jjust...i got lazy. and went... nope...easy way here i come.
so here i am, thinking i am poly...but chooseing monogamy... because it is easier.
mind you, ialso just wanted to give this new guya shot. but honestly, would i ever go poly again... no. for the simple reason that poly is too hard in society...
and that to me...its a shame. it seems so wrong. i feel like i surrendered too quikly and for the wrong reasons... i wrote off poly...because monogamy was easier..
what kind of person does that make me? to cave like that... honestly...i dont know.
the kicker is, i'm happy with my relationship. i am. he is wonderful! i would not trade him for anything... i'm just, i'm disatisfied i turned my back for the easy road. even thought that easy road has made me happy, if only because i dont have any of the coplications and pressure of society to conform...cus well..i already did...
argh!
please help!
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Last edited by Honestheart; 05-06-2011 at 06:16 AM.
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