Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 05-04-2011, 05:19 AM
cuddlecakes cuddlecakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near NYC
Posts: 54
Default Not so much jealousy as feeling like a loser

In my first officially non-monogamous relationship, we both wanted it from the first date (9 months ago) and we're a pretty awesome couple. She is constantly telling me how great I am and how she can't imagine ever leaving me, she doesn't understand why I'm not constantly surrounded by women, etc. I trust her and am not worried about her leaving me.

Since we started dating, I've tried going out with 3 other girls, weren't really into each other, pretty awkward, nothing happened. I'm really shy and maybe a little picky, so that's pretty typical for me?

Meanwhile, I can't even keep track of all the guys she's gone out with. I can think of 8, but there are probably others I'm forgetting (several with the same names). Went on several dates each, excited about them, made out with most of them, had sex with at least 4. It's kind of intimidating.

Likewise, the latest guy she's seeing already has a wife and a girlfriend, and after their date tonight I find out that he's also currently dating another girl, and is interested in yet another... who just happens to be one of the three I unsuccessfully went out with. :/

Before we met, I hadn't kissed anyone in over a year, and I was trapped in self-reinforcing feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and depression. Now that I'm seeing just how easy dating is for everyone else, how they're all having such a great time, and I'm just seeing her and struggling elsewhere, I'm beginning to feel the same as I did then. It's bizarre to feel lonely or insecure when I'm in such a happy, stable relationship, but I can't help but compare myself to the success of others and feel like a loser, or feel that I'm somehow being taken advantage of, though I know that's not the case.
Reply With Quote

casual sex, dating, dating dynamics

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:23 PM.