My reasons for this Blog:
I love all that Iíve read. This forum is full of honest, open, real people, friendships, relationships and I want to be a part of it. I keep a personal journal and I write everything that comes to mind, questions, concerns and dreams. Iíve never thought about making such personal moments public but after reading others blogs and posts Iíve learn about me. Some have inspired thoughts, others have opened my eyes, and some have reminded me of my old problems while others are just what I am currently facing. I want to share my personal thoughts, a few things that I would normal keep in my locked journal with those interested in reading what I have to write. Maybe others can learn from what I am facing, maybe I will learn a bit more about myself and maybe Iíll simply meet new people.
I will begin with:
I am currently single. I have a long-distance friendship with PC who I dated while I lived in the same city as him. If we were both in the same city we would still be dating. Iíve been in a few dates with German guy. He really is German* Iíve enjoyed our few dates but a bit vanilla. I canít stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend (Psycho ex). Itís a term of endearment.* She has her own girlfriend and according to her a happy life, itís been years since we where together but for some reason she pops in my mind every now and then and I canít shake her off. Lastly there is Guy from Church who has proclaimed his love for me. Weíve spend some time together and although we have things in commend I am not sure he is emotionally stable enough to be in a relationship. Weíve spoke and Iíve shared my concern with him and he has accepted my point of view. He has really shown me some possessive behavior that I found a turn off.
Although I am single I am not alone.
I have decided only a few days ago that I wanted to venture into a poly-lifestyle. Even though I have never been in an open poly-relationship I have been in love with multiple people. At the time it was cheating but even though the other parties didnít like it I was happy. Without knowing it I had my first experience in High School. I had a boyfriend who went to the same school I did, a girlfriend from another school and my cute lover boy who knew about both. I was very happy then, I felt like I had it all. Of course if everyone involved had known am sure things would have been different. I want to do things different now. I want everyone to be respected and not lied to.
Iíve decided that I donít have what it takes to commit to a full-time relationship. I am in a very deep self-discovery journey and University graduation is just around the corner. I will be leaving my home-town after graduation. All of this makes me think I should stop dating completely. Yet I donít truly want to. A part of me thinks it is unfair for those I date since I am not available to give them a future. Another part of me says, dating can be for short-term if those involved are aware and okay with it.
Secondly I am not sure if I should try online dating. I have never really done online dating. I want to date more woman and to be honest I donít have much of a gay radar. I am attracted to very feminine women. Online give you the advantage that people state what they are looking for. No guessing required. I am a traditionalist and reserved, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of my picture and info out there.
Here is where I ask for advice:
Is there such thing as short-term dating and is it moral? Online dating a good idea? Open to any other comments.
"To laugh often and love much...this is to have succeded."-Emerson