An outside perspective on Poly motivations

[Lemondrop]

Here's irony for you. Before poly, my husband was not meeting my needs. Now, thanks to the blessing of the need for better communication, we're doing better than we have previously in our entire marriage.

I didn't really mean to become poly, but my motivation was not to prevent myself from needing my husband too much. I love my other partners. They add to my life. But if I wanted/needed to become monogamous again, I would not regret allowing my husband to be my only relationship. I would be just as devastated to lose him now as I would have been when we were monogamous.

I will add an observation--even though I haven't had time recently to post much, I've done a lot of watching. I've observed a lot of conscientious, ethical poly-folk online, and only a few that display the tendency that you've observed to try to avoid real emotional entanglement.

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

[B]
People were talking about being uncomfortable with a single partner meeting too many of there needs.

Doesn't surprise me in the least. People share many common activities for a whole host of different reasons. I don't find the idea that a single partner could meet most of my needs uncomfortable, I find it highly unlikely. Obviously, there are those who do find it uncomfortable and pursue more relationships to avoid catastrophic loss.

Heh. I just read a review of a book titled "Why Women Have Sex" and the author, drawing on interviews with many women, covers 237 reasons women have sex. I figure the number of reasons somebody would want additional relationships to be some similar number, in that it's far larger than traditional notions of such things would allow for.