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  #151  
Old 01-19-2011, 04:08 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Originally Posted by eklctc View Post
Yea...scenario sounds familiar on various levels. The signs were definitely there, though, so I'm glad you went with your first instinct and began the disconnection. Glad you have acknowledged the disappointment but, ultimately, have taken it in stride. That's where I am...already on my next prospect. *hugs*
Thanks! Your next "prospect" isn't in Florida is it? J/K
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  #152  
Old 02-01-2011, 01:34 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Sorry it's been so long. I have had a hectic month at work and it's ongoing. *sigh*
Hmm...let's see...what part of Florida is that? My sister lives outside of Miami and I'm supposed to visit this year. I may have to do some recruiting. :P
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  #153  
Old 03-11-2011, 03:27 AM
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Wow...been a LOOOONG time since visiting this thread.

Eklctc,
We are in Clearwater.

So today, I went to work. I work with my wife and I's ex's hubby. ?(weird I know.) Anyway, I'm at work, and he blows up my head 1t thing in the mornign. He tells me that my ex would be giving me a call today! I was excited, as I never wanted to break up in the first place. But HE (her hubby) was not comfortable with the closeness of her and my relationship.

I told him "I seriously DOUBT that." (Incidentally, I was correct as she did NOT call me today) Anyway, he was always completely AGAINST poly and the idea of poly...but today, he brought it up to me. I thought this was weird to say the least. Then, he tells me that his wife really misses my wife and I, and wants to resume some sort of relations again. I told him I would like to talk to her also, as I have missed her and talking to her a LOT. But....(there's always a "but"...isn't there)....I was afraid of getting into any kind of relationship with her. He asked why....I told him that I didn't want to because I was afraid of getting involved with her, then having her yanked away from me again like the last time. I really dislike him....but my wife and I both love HER to pieces. We are still upset with her, but understand that she broke up with us because she was trying to keep her marriage together. We just think she went about the whole thing wrong....

Anyway, no phone call from her today. Why? Probably because she doesn't have my new number. I'm keeping it that way though. I told him that if she REALLY wanted to talk to me, she would do it in person at our work or e-mail me, or facebook me.

He has a problem...He tends to lie a lot. In fact, our supervisor has said, on numerous occasions, that he always knows when S is lying....because his lips are moving.

I REALLY want to believe that D wants to talk to L and I again, but I'm not holding my breath.

I asked S WHY D wanted to talk to my wife and I again. He said that he has a FWB, and that his wife D now wants one also...and said she wanted my wife and I as her FWB. I re-itterated to him that I was reluctant to get involved, and I didn't want to jump in with both feet. Rather, I prefered to touch the water with my little toe....or something smaller. LOL
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  #154  
Old 04-30-2011, 02:50 AM
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Well now....How things have changed....

About 3 weeks ago, S got fired from our job! YAY!!!! I know...Sad that I would be happy about someone else getting fired. But it was REALLY getting hard for me to go to work with S every day. He was constantly telling me how D wanted to hook up with L and myself. Blah! Good riddance! Finally done with that chapter of my life! LOL

On another front; If S had not gotten fired, I had other pokers in the fire anyway...and On Monday this week, I got a call about a new job at Midas. Today, I started my first day at Midas. Oddly enough, S was my supervisor at my old job, got fired, and also applied at Midas and was turned down for the job.....I applied and GOT the job. WEIRD! He's a faster mechanic than me, but I'm more thorough. :P

On a DIFFERENT front;
L and I have been having issues again. I finally put out a real ad...One that was sure to garner some attention. This ad was to try to find a girl for me. Well, I got that attention I was looking for alright. Of course, when I actually replied to two of the women who responded, it did NOT go over well with L. I did it wrong, and need to refine my approach. While she is trying to get the whole idea of me seeing another woman romantically, I am trying to learn a few things....One, how to find women w/o pissing off my wife. Two, how to attract women...and then tell them that I'm married, but not cheating and we're poly. Three, ??? LOL

So there you have it folks...in a nutshell.
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  #155  
Old 04-30-2011, 02:56 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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If you don't mind me asking, what about the situation pissed your wife off?
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  #156  
Old 04-30-2011, 11:17 AM
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Sorry Ari, but I will let her explain that, if she chooses to come in here, as I will likely describe it wrong. I have that issue most of the time. LOL
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  #157  
Old 04-30-2011, 11:00 PM
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Hey, TL, I recall not long ago, you posted to the "how you doing" thread:
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Had a long heart to heart with LT last night. Not sure how to convey that even though I have a desire to go out with other women, I am NOT leaving her....EVER. We are currently on a killer drop on the "poly-coaster".
And I wrote back the following, but you didn't respond:
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh, you two seem so solid, I am sure she couldn't possibly doubt you!! Are you saying you want to try dating a woman that you don't share? I know it's been hard for you to find someone who fits into your situation in that way.
Is that what's been happening? I'm sure it might seem like a big transition for you, if that's the case, but I meant it when I said you guys seem really solid as a couple. I'm sure whatever it is, will work out.
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  #158  
Old 04-30-2011, 11:42 PM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hey, TL, I recall not long ago, you posted to the "how you doing" thread:


And I wrote back the following, but you didn't respond:


Is that what's been happening? I'm sure it might seem like a big transition for you, if that's the case, but I meant it when I said you guys seem really solid as a couple. I'm sure whatever it is, will work out.
Well Cindie, IDK...Yes...I have the desire to date a women that we are not both involved with on a sexual basis, but I DEFINATLY want LT to be involved with whoever I decide to date, on a friendship basis at the very least)
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  #159  
Old 05-01-2011, 12:57 AM
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Well Cindie, IDK...Yes...I have the desire to date a women that we are not both involved with on a sexual basis, but I DEFINATLY want LT to be involved with whoever I decide to date, on a friendship basis at the very least)
That was a big step for me. One I took last may actually. Up until that point I had always been a unicorn hunter, but made the leap to start dating on my own.. in order to date SG.

It was a long process and lots of talking with my wife. But it did work out. We had both always had a rule of girls only, around this time, we also dumped that rule.

For us, both were tied together... both were eliminated together. Both took a long time, lots of discussion, crying and .. well more talking. Eventually it worked out for the best and we now date separately.

So best of luck.. its a huge step in coupled non-monogamy...
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  #160  
Old 05-07-2011, 11:31 AM
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Ok, LT and I had a nice talk the other night. I expressed my feelings (in a nice calm manner). I also told her that I was not going o be practicing ANYTHING poly for a while. Then, I made a mistake. (like I always do) I told HER not to do anything poly either. I told her things were cut off for her and a new interest of hers. I told her that things were cut off for an OLD interest of hers. I told her it was ALL cut off.

STOP......

Then..... we have been communicating the last couple days....

STOP.....

Communication...key...

hmmm....


anyway...She and I started seeing each other again...eye to eye......

She has respected my wishes for her not to see anyone else....Then, yesterday, I made another mistake.

LT asked me if I would like to go to a country music concert with her on Sunday. I said "SURE! Thanks for asking me!" Then she asked (and also added in that it was ok to say no) if we could ask Airman to go with us. I answered the text with one word: "NO". I think I confused her. Then she reminded me where the concert would be, and where the tickets were acquired from....She also reminded me that our ex's, S & D might be there. She also reminded me that she would be there for 4 hours before I got off work and could come there to be with her.

It was about that time, that I realized what I had done. So I said that it was fine with me if she wanted to go, and if she wanted to ask Airman out to it, that was fine, but that I didn't want to go anymore. She said she would respect my wishes for her not to ask out Airman, and she simply wouldn't go.

LT LOVES country music. So I really don't want her to miss this. She hasn't been to a country concert in a long time now.

So I told her I would go, and the likelyhood of seeing S & D there was small.



Here's what I felt I did wrong: I denied her seeing Airman. Not out of jealousy....No....I have cut it all off for myself, and should not deny her as well. She is her own person, and I need to allow her to have that.

I cut it off becase I've been so frustrated recently. I keep hearing LT telling me that she would be ok with me having a gf.....but when I (in all my terrible timing) ask to go look online, she gets mad and upset. So...I told her I'm done eve looking for now. I think she has realized what she was doing, and has been extreemly understanding to me more recently. She has encouraged me to look again....however, I'm just not in the mood right now. I can't seem to handle any drama. It saddens me to not have the desire.....but....I think it is best for me right now.

Now, I have done a LOT wrong...so don't let this sound like I am totally innocent, and that I'm bashing her. She has been quite understanding. She also thinks that I often get on here and bash her and make her out to be a mean person. I try not to....She is usually very understanding and helps me out when I need her to.

I'm probably making a mistake posting this also....I hope not.
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